autism poem i forgot from 2013

 Walking out of step but in their own rhythm

Are the outsiders we label with autism

But what path can anyone follow but our own

Are we too afraid we won't make it home alone

Do we force our way through the small talk

To evade life's lonely walk

Are we afraid to move forward

Not knowing what we are walking toward 

No man can make it alone no man is an island

But a man has to be ready to live life by his own command

We can't fear free will we can't run away from it

Even when we aren't wise enough to see what will come of it

Whether we look into an obscured path

Or if we can't work out all the math

We must not fear facing decisions afraid of regret

Before we even start living our own lives yet

A single poem after a long absence

Listening to Im a Believer and Do You Believe in Magic i had this corny idea for a poem
Love is the only magic there needs to be
Our greatest strength is our empathy
It can turn a stranger into family
Make a friend out of an enemy
Its the only solution there is to see
Its the only way there needs to be
A world without fear and living free
Love is the journey and the destiny

For My Wife Part I, II

You are my world and my sunshine
My one and only love of mine
Nothing else but your love and pride
Keeps warm and growing inside
You nurture me as I try to cherish you
You are on mind in everything I do
Your happiness is why mine matters
When you're sad it breaks and shatters
Please know without your love and support
I would feel nothing but pain and hurt
So thanks for at my long journeys length
You gave me the love to give me the strength

You are the reason for everything I feel
Without you nothing I do is real
Your pride is everything that I strive
For your love keeps my happiness alive
The sun lights my soul when
I see you laugh and grin
I only feel witty and intelligent
When our conversations spent
And you hang on to the sentiment
And appreciate the moment for what it meant-to me
Oh I wish you could see
Nothing could give me more pride
Than you standing by my side
Proud to be my bride
So don't let a day slide-away
Remind me a little each day
Because I'm so thankful for all you do and say
And in your heart is the only place I want to stay

PP 331 (work in progress)

The Promises Of The Life Of Which We Yearn
When do childhood dreams return
The Promises of the Life of which we yearn
When heroes win and their lessons learn
What happened to a friends concern
When will we learn to be more honorable
To those far more vulnerable
Maybe when the hurt can tear down their wall
So they can answer their neighbors call

Hip Hop Lessons
Hip hop exposes all the nonsense
Of a world succombed to violence
Can it even make sense
To get rich at life's expense
Most who front an attack
Never check a fact
Just turning their back
On what the have not's lack
Never looking at themself
And how they glorify their wealth
Selling dreams to every have not
To go and get everything that you got
But in the slums there's only one kind of shot
That's why you find so many in debt or dead a lot
Trying to rise above their plight
In this uphill fight
But you look down from on top of your height
Overlooking in your oversight
With these entrapments you declare economic war
Judicially dominating those who are already poor

Fake Like You
I don't want to be fake like you
Telling others what they wish was true
Pretending to give a damn about their point of view
And just keep on doing the hell you want to do
Beliefs are nothing but what our actions tend to show
I can't say I believe in what I cannot follow
I can not deceive those who really what to know
So I'll make no promises because words are hollow

Poetry Post 330

Black Girls Rock
Boldly moving forward never shrinking back
Lacking nothing to keep herself on track
Always carrying on as Mother To The Earth
Caring for those who don't see her worth
Keeping the faith for the family
Guarding against the evils that may be
In touch with everyone else's needs
Responding caringly as she still bleeds
Libeled for the good she does to others
Shunned by those calling themselves brothers
Raising children and men in every class of society
Ostracized by all those in debt to her generosity
Campassionate leaders held down as humble mates
Kept in place by misogynist fates

Battles Of Hearts
Stuck behind another hump
Just another obstacle to jump
Another feat to have to trump
Try to make friends because the more the merrier
But the more you try to know the tighter the barrier
Commitments a disease I'm just the carrier
So I try to prove my character's honoable
By being open, honest and vulnerable
But Some circumstances are inalterable

Stranded
Standing outside your front door
Wondering why we don't hang out anymore
This turn feels so strange
I didnt even feel a change
I'm lost and you're telling me to go
Lost for words to ask for what I need to know
Where, when, why, how did it all go wrong
You know this is the only place I belong
Clueless to my offense
I'm left in the world without defense

Domestic Avengers (Comic Book)

Robert Page- 32 year old white garbage man with scrubby facial hair, thin short frame, dark wild hair, lanky limbs, quiet to varying "trustability" degrees, analytical, idealistic, uncompromising man

Pamela Turner- 27 yr old black female teacher of 6th grade social studies, dark smooth complexion, round curvy figure, with cornrows, uncompromising assertive rational wins arguments loses battles

Backstory:

Robert & Pam meet at the funeral of a friend Valerie who died of long term effects of domestic abuse. Robert use to collect her garbage and had a secret crush on her. Pam was her sister. Both knowing her history of abusive relationships join forces to fight domestic abuse over their guilt of Valerie's death.

The Plan:

Robert finds evidence in garbage of domestic abuse (anything blood stained, or broken with force, high amounts of alcohol bottles etc) gives info to Pam for her to avenge the abuse likewise Pam watches for signs of abuse in her students for Robert to avenge (bruise marks, evasive and/or erratic behavior etc)

Location:

Both Pam and Robert live in the same apartment building for years not knowing each other until Valerie's death. They live in Great Lake City a multicultural poor manufacturing town with a high unemployment rate and high crime rate.

Poetry Post 329

Reading Empathy
Can you look right through me
And tell if I have empathy
Can you see my neurological wires
And see the roots of my desires
Any more than I can see through you
By the actions I can see you do
By the way you see how other people feel
To determine what you can get out of the deal
I only hope for reprocity and understanding
Never giving less than I am demanding

Questioning Faith
What is it to have true religion?
Is it relying on another for a decision?
Is faith something you're suppose to support
But cannot count on when you're hurt?
I know there is God and I know there is the Lord
But how am I helped compared to those who never heard
There is comfort in knowing what is Good and Right
But with so much beyond our strength its a losing fight
You may say its a sin to say the Lord forsook me
But if I still feel so defeated someone overlooked me

Unrewarding Drudgery
Every day is a hectic boring drudge
How can I not hold a grudge
What do I have to depend on
When all is done everyone's gone
I push and pull along throughout the day and night
Without comfort emotional or physical in my sight
Just a small bed to lay alone in
Waiting for the next day to start it all over again

REMEMBER

my book can be bought at authorhouse.com

poetry 328

Unconfident Persistence
I want to feel the confidence of your love and affection
I want it to shield me for emotional protection
I'm confident I'm worth your consideration
All I need is confirmed validation
Because I could love you in more ways than others could show
I could love you in ways no one else could possibly know
Because what I lack in vain charm
Is protection from deceit and from harm
And I may be persistent
Where love is resistant
But I'm not arrogant in my expectations
Just loyal to my dedications
And a woman worthy of being a friend
Is worth the chance of romance to the bitter end

Wonderkid
Boy you really are the Wonderkid
And everyone's wondering exactly what you did
But no one will ever get to where the facts are hid
Because everybody's stuck in awe of the Wonderkid
And everyone who's not just gets the farewell bid
Making sure all the others just shut their lid
So the programmed masses can all heil the Wonderkid

Beauty Divine
Every time I hear your name
I turn into a beast only you can tame
And no other woman can make me feel the same
And I love that this addiction has no shame
Because you make me feel like a beautiful powerful man
When you show what I know that only I can do it like I can
And you feel like the star that you are when I say I'm your biggest fan
So don't take for granted this expression of obsession cause your the kind I can't find in any other woman

pp 327

Rejection Scars

Romance can be so unfair

When you have so much love to share

And you have so many ways of just being there

Helping someone with tender loving care

You can give loyal love and affection

Offer emotional support and protection

But without a mutual connection

Your heart gets scarred with rejection

Treasure Beyond The Barrier

I walk in this world alone as an alien

Foreign to the customs without neighbor or kin

No one to understand, to see who I am within

There's something in my exterior

That acts as a barrier

Hiding what I have to offer

I speak of walls as barriers not as though I wear a mask

Because I'm an open book answering any question you may ask

But finding a functioning relationship has been an unfulfilled task

November Nights

On November nights cold and damp

I wander alone as a tramp

Waiting to see

Whats to become of me

But find a frigid future bare

As I stare at the nothingness there

All I can do is just walk on

Pass all the opportunities gone

No flame or spark left of desire

As bitter winds choke out the fire

working on new screenplay

it's about an autistic white college man looking for a girlfriend and falling in love with a black single mother college student. it works around how social awkwardness can sabotage good relationships that have strong common ground

Poetry Post 326

Heart Of Lust
I am selfish not one to trust
Deceived by my heart of lust
Don't trust me when I say I love you
I can't even tell you if it's true
And when their love is in doubt
It's just someone to do without

Sensual Warming
The warmth of your touch
Reminds me of how I miss you so much
The scent of your hair
Let's me know that I'm there
But I'm still caught by surprise
By the earnest love in your eyes
Your words of support take root deepened by your sincerity
Until your lips become the home I always needed them to be
Taking you in by every sense
Raises my confidence
But without you here to hold
My body lies vulnerable and cold

Independence
Living on my own
Yet not feeling all alone
Not feeling overwhelm
Got life by the helm
Never thought I'd see
This strength within me
Generally feeling that life is good
Feeling like I'm doing the best I should
But failure still constantly bringing in doubt
That's why your love is something I never go without

Poetry Post 325

Striving Relationship
For all that you are and all I can be
You're the best thing to ever happen to me
For all that I can strive fore
I could deserve nothing more
Than the intimacy of your emotion
And the intimacy of your devotion
But the intimacy of your touch
Would be asking too much
For a woman made pure
To a man so unsure

Love's Responsibilty
Think about the lonely think about the needy
And sometimes maybe give a thought about me
I may not be desperate or despondent
But everyone needs a correspondent
Friendship is a must not merely a wish
So asking for someone is not quite being so selfish
Just because we are not of immediate relation
Does not mean our love has no obligation
I know about love and accept the responsibility
True love can never dissever the reprocity
But if the love isn't true
Let me know how to move on from you

Thinking Of You
Late at night with nothing to do
Just sitting here thinking of you
Thinking of what could have been done what should have been done
Analyzing my chances of you being the one
But there's not that much to go on
When people seem to be here just waiting to be gone
Could see you this morning maybe tomorrow
Maybe for the last time ever I can never know
If not for the promise of your call
I'd have no confidence of seeing you at all
What can be done what can I do
to make sure I have more than just memories of you

Poetry Post 324 (First from the Wright State years)

Million Miles Away
When I'm lucky to see you once a day
Your love can feel a million miles away
When hello is all we have time to say
Your love can feel a million miles away
And when things just aren't alright
I pray your love will come as fast as light
And when my strength can't seem to bear the fight
I pray your love will come as fast as light

Sensory Security
Warmed by the embrace of your sound
I feel secure with you around
Captured in your body and your soul
I feel safe in your control
Rustic nature is all I see
Whenever you're with me
Symphonic voices is all I hear
Whenever you come near
To have so much is like paradise
The limits of time seem the only sacrifice

Compassionately Rewarded
Hindered by my own reservation
I timidly attempt a conversation
Topics died and shifted looking for a way to start
But in reaching for your mind I touched your heart
We spoke of love wanted and love needed and the need for something more
Thoughts and emotions started flowing from within and then started to outpour
And in talking of pain hoping for sympathy
We were rewarded with each other's empathy

Movie Idea Ms. Oedipus

Genre: Dramatic Comedy
Characters :
Robby Burns: 15 year old boy going through a messy divorce
Mr. Burns: 40 year old divorcee trying to be a parent and single again
Ms. Bancoft: 27 year old teacher who is the object of affection to both Robby and Mr. Burns
Dr. Sherman: child psychologist
Plot: A lonely teenage boy (Robby Burns) gets a crush on his supportive and friendly 9th grade English teacher (Ms. Bancoft). After he gets in trouble acting out in class due to bullying and because of his parents recent separation finalized in a divorce his father goes to have a parent teacher conference and Mr. Burns and Ms. Bancoft end up dating causing more rebeliion in ever increasingly reclusive disruptive Robby as he tries to sabotage his father's relationship with Ms. Bancoft so he could have her to himself.
Scene 1: Robby comes to school frustrated and picked on but finds support in Ms. Bancoft who encourages his writing
Scene 2: Coming home takes unusually solemn turn as his parents come back from marriage counselling with a disparing sense of something inevitably miserable.
Scene 3: Ms. Bancoft becomes more a maternal figure in Robby's life even learning what his interests in film, music and sports are
Scene 4: Divorce is finalized and he stays with his Dad as his emotionally detached mother runs off in search of freedom.
Scene 5: More bullying at school, more empathetic conversations between Ms. Bancoft and Robby of each one mutually opening up to the other more and more each time, including Ms. Bancoft's miseries in trying to find nice men who resembled bullies all grown up.
Scene 6: Fantasy dream sequence of Robby being Ms. Bancoft's knight in shining armor and her being the nurturing caregiver he needs. Imagines living in a nice apartment laying naked under the sheets talking romantically while watching their favorite romantic movie "Manhattan"
Scene 7: Fights between him and his Dad break out as his Dad is not accostumed to getting things prepared for Robby (like dinner, shopping etc)
Scene 8: Kids harass Robby in English class Ms. Bancoft tries to handle the kids but they don't relent until Robby fights back
Scene 9: Parent teacher conference ends unable to avoid 3 day suspension pushed by other kids parents
Scene 10: Apologies from Ms. Bancoft lead to a date with Mr. Burns
Scene 11: Ms. Bancoft accidently mentions the date to Robby and she notices Robby seems bothered
Scene 12: Robby comes home in a fighting mood with his Dad "if you had treated Mom better I would have to compete with you in the first place" gets him grounded
Scene 13: Tries to sabotage the date by stealing his Dad's credit card
Scene 14: The date goes on until Ms. Bancoft pays for the meal soon after realizing his credit card was missing.
Scene 15: Aggrevation goes on as he has no one to confine in, school becomes even more difficult and his grades drop
Scene 16: Another parent teacher conference leading to the next date as she gives Mr. Burns another try after he explains things
Scene 17: Robby maxes out his father's credit card online with internet pornography (memorizing his credit card #)
Scene 18: By the time the check comes after dinner his credit card is voided and Ms. Bancoft pays for the date again
Scene 19: Serious talk between Ms. Bancoft and Mr. Burns leading to the decision they shouldn't date because it's clearly affecting Robby's behavior too much.
Scene 20: Fight at home between Robby and his Dad
Scene 21: Robby asks Ms. Bancoft if he could stay with her as he and his dad are not on good terms, but Ms. Bancoft tries to politely decline
Scene 22: Mr. Burns gets Robby a counselor which his father hopes Robby will transfer his Oedipal crush on until he finds out Dr. Sherman is a guy
Scene 23: Mr. Burns talks with Dr. Sherman about his predicament with his son and Dr. Sherman suggests open family counselling which Mr. Burns begrudgingly accepts
Scene 24: At their first session Robby learns his dad's real motives on getting a psychologist. This intensifies the hostility.
Scene 25: Robby confines in Ms. Bancoft (who they are still on good if not weakened terms) what his father had done and she is upset.
Scene 26: The father apologizes for not being upfront and honest and trying sympathetically handling Robby's emotional drama
Scene 27: Robby and his father discuss which of them should more practically go after Ms. Bancoft. Father relents that in 3 years it wouldn't make a difference if Robby was dating her and even in college he could feasable afford marriage with his scholarship opportunities and part time jobs if Robby was willing to sacrifice.
Scene 28: Robby never gets the nerve to tell Ms. Bancoft he is willing to wait for her until he graduates and hear she is engaged to another man.
Scene 29: Mr. Burns consoles his son by taking him to dinner where he arranges a double date for him and his son to date Ms. Moore (35) and her daughter Liza (17)

Poetry Post 323

Regressed Goals
Ambitions long forgotten
Left on pages old and rotten
Goals saved for another season
Priorities without rhyme or reason
Simply following the roads straight ahead
Not for want or desire but as obligation led
Only to front a stonewall barrier
Finding in retreat regression even scarier
Regressing to the start to look again forward
To search and find again the goals I was working toward

Moss Of A Mountain's Stone
Living in the worse sense of being alone
Stuck like moss growing fat on a mountain's stone
Nowhere to go but down into the abyss
I can do nothing but just take living like this
But sometimes I can't even do that
Wondering how on Earth I got where I'm at
Hoping erosion doesn't cut off my life support
As the stones wears down slowly into dirt

Moral Equilibrium
Greater good, lesser evil
Battle of one's own free will
Blame it on nature or put it on nurture
The feeling so helpless is the greatest torture
Trying to find balance on an endless horizon
Never finding anything stable to lean on
Pride is a question of sin and virtue
Depending on someone else's point of view
Does the middle road lie on a paradox
And would someone please remove the road blocks

Poetry Post 322

Facebook Friends
Virtual relations are playing with my imagination
Your instant messages are instant gratification
It's like everything and still so much less
How much love is felt is merely a guess
Trying to read the lines between the emoticons acronyms
Measuring all the words by connotations and synonyms
We see each other online to chat
But what are we really getting at
Trying to analysis each one's point of view
Contemplating what next we should do
There's so much to try to comprehend
When you're looking for a lover in a friend

Parasite Lost
Your departure was my liberation
Because your company was degeneration
Killing my hopes until they were maggot rotten
But resurrected once thoughts of you are forgotten
No longer to fear your manipulation
Nor to fuel your ego with my exasperation
Now you're just another parasite without a host
And even if the pain lingers you're just a ghost
Untangible to my world free of your curse
I only pity who will be your next resource

Love's Word Puzzles
I want you to feel the love you make me feel
But I can't because it probably isn't real
It's hard to measure the extent of an intention
When cloaks of manners and filters are in the words mention
The difference of how the words are implied
Make the difference of how love is applied
So to play it safe I assume nothing more was meant
But what was safe about all the lonely days spent

Comic Book Idea

The Watchtower
In a fortified city of Zion 4 superheroes rule guarding it's city's 12 other initial citizens ever growing onward never dying or emigrating faster than the birthrate and immigration.
The city of Zion is surrounded by a desert but behind the city walls lies a great oasis in the center of the city.
The four rulers
Dynamos (the bull) holds Power of power (dynamic force) ready to exort strength in protecting Zion
Endikon (the lion) holds Power of justice recognizing order angered over injustice against the natural order
Sophia (the eagle) holds Power of wisdom having selective foresight and strength of analysis finding prudent middleground
Agape (the Perfect Man) holds Power of love having principled respect for all life and deep empathy espescially toward the afflicted
Agape usually conflicts with Endikon over penalties
Dynamos usually resolves siding with Agape
Sophia often alligns with Endikon but can be a voice of reason mediating between the 3 others
Endikon and Dynamos hold more proactive personalities leading to the desire for action
Agape and Sophia hold more passive qualities investigating matters dealt with

Poetry Post 321

Aspergers Is Not A Syndrome
Sickness is not an emotion
Passion is just another word for devotion
The want of order and control
Is in every human soul
When sincerity seems like a delusion
What else is left but anxiety and confusion
But this does not make one sick, impaired or dumb
Asperger's is not a syndrome
A different social perspective
Does not make one socially defective
Different skills simply make a different tool
As long as I am able I know am not a fool

Still Hurting II
Depressed, disstressed looking at your picture
Pining, knowing there's no fantasy anymore
But what else is there to do
The self prophesy came true
The same situation produces nothing new
Why did I hope for something different in you
Expecting something in you to come through
You are a great friend but we couldn't stand a chance
Our love is strong but with emotional distance
We could never be lovers we could hardly stay friends
But the finalization is something my heart never comprehends

Soul Mate Searching
Preoccupied and lonely
Looking for my first, my best, my only
How can I get through the lonesome night
If I can't recognize the one who's right
How could I be whole and master my own fate
If I search without recognition of my own mate
Who is she? Where shall she be? How would she know me?
There's too many variables in this mystery
Perhaps true love is not ansolute
But I can't settle for a substitute

Poetry Post 320

Promiscuous Words
I saved my flesh but am no virgin of word
Professing love to so many too many heard
Now I have nothing left to be sworn
My confessed love has worn and torn
But I never want to give up on true romance
Lending word, deed and heart is my only chance
So I will always give it another try
I may often be wrong but I never lie
So trust these words as true and sincere
Your love and friendship are what I hold dear
And if mutual feelings were just made clear
My battered used heart would never again fear

Searching For Sanity
I look for knowledge and find only confusion
And facts discovered by minds of delusion
With their wisdom built by illusion
Logic being only a mirage
Self defense turns to self sabotage
And we become our own barage
O sanity the sweet idealized angelic lover
The mysteries of your comfort to uncover
Only in finding you can we ourselves discover

Bittersweet Memories
What happened to the promises to stick together
Love taught me friends are forever
But experience taught me better
Everything I can't forget
Is merely another regret
I wonder if you're as upset
That we are told to take growing changes passively
To pack all childhood feelings into a buried memory
But nostalgic songs and games keep the memory coming back to me