Poetry Post 330

Black Girls Rock
Boldly moving forward never shrinking back
Lacking nothing to keep herself on track
Always carrying on as Mother To The Earth
Caring for those who don't see her worth
Keeping the faith for the family
Guarding against the evils that may be
In touch with everyone else's needs
Responding caringly as she still bleeds
Libeled for the good she does to others
Shunned by those calling themselves brothers
Raising children and men in every class of society
Ostracized by all those in debt to her generosity
Campassionate leaders held down as humble mates
Kept in place by misogynist fates

Battles Of Hearts
Stuck behind another hump
Just another obstacle to jump
Another feat to have to trump
Try to make friends because the more the merrier
But the more you try to know the tighter the barrier
Commitments a disease I'm just the carrier
So I try to prove my character's honoable
By being open, honest and vulnerable
But Some circumstances are inalterable

Stranded
Standing outside your front door
Wondering why we don't hang out anymore
This turn feels so strange
I didnt even feel a change
I'm lost and you're telling me to go
Lost for words to ask for what I need to know
Where, when, why, how did it all go wrong
You know this is the only place I belong
Clueless to my offense
I'm left in the world without defense

Poetry Post 329

Reading Empathy
Can you look right through me
And tell if I have empathy
Can you see my neurological wires
And see the roots of my desires
Any more than I can see through you
By the actions I can see you do
By the way you see how other people feel
To determine what you can get out of the deal
I only hope for reprocity and understanding
Never giving less than I am demanding

Questioning Faith
What is it to have true religion?
Is it relying on another for a decision?
Is faith something you're suppose to support
But cannot count on when you're hurt?
I know there is God and I know there is the Lord
But how am I helped compared to those who never heard
There is comfort in knowing what is Good and Right
But with so much beyond our strength its a losing fight
You may say its a sin to say the Lord forsook me
But if I still feel so defeated someone overlooked me

Unrewarding Drudgery
Every day is a hectic boring drudge
How can I not hold a grudge
What do I have to depend on
When all is done everyone's gone
I push and pull along throughout the day and night
Without comfort emotional or physical in my sight
Just a small bed to lay alone in
Waiting for the next day to start it all over again

poetry 328

Unconfident Persistence
I want to feel the confidence of your love and affection
I want it to shield me for emotional protection
I'm confident I'm worth your consideration
All I need is confirmed validation
Because I could love you in more ways than others could show
I could love you in ways no one else could possibly know
Because what I lack in vain charm
Is protection from deceit and from harm
And I may be persistent
Where love is resistant
But I'm not arrogant in my expectations
Just loyal to my dedications
And a woman worthy of being a friend
Is worth the chance of romance to the bitter end

Wonderkid
Boy you really are the Wonderkid
And everyone's wondering exactly what you did
But no one will ever get to where the facts are hid
Because everybody's stuck in awe of the Wonderkid
And everyone who's not just gets the farewell bid
Making sure all the others just shut their lid
So the programmed masses can all heil the Wonderkid

Beauty Divine
Every time I hear your name
I turn into a beast only you can tame
And no other woman can make me feel the same
And I love that this addiction has no shame
Because you make me feel like a beautiful powerful man
When you show what I know that only I can do it like I can
And you feel like the star that you are when I say I'm your biggest fan
So don't take for granted this expression of obsession cause your the kind I can't find in any other woman

pp 327

Rejection Scars

Romance can be so unfair

When you have so much love to share

And you have so many ways of just being there

Helping someone with tender loving care

You can give loyal love and affection

Offer emotional support and protection

But without a mutual connection

Your heart gets scarred with rejection

Treasure Beyond The Barrier

I walk in this world alone as an alien

Foreign to the customs without neighbor or kin

No one to understand, to see who I am within

There's something in my exterior

That acts as a barrier

Hiding what I have to offer

I speak of walls as barriers not as though I wear a mask

Because I'm an open book answering any question you may ask

But finding a functioning relationship has been an unfulfilled task

November Nights

On November nights cold and damp

I wander alone as a tramp

Waiting to see

Whats to become of me

But find a frigid future bare

As I stare at the nothingness there

All I can do is just walk on

Pass all the opportunities gone

No flame or spark left of desire

As bitter winds choke out the fire

Poetry Post 326

Heart Of Lust
I am selfish not one to trust
Deceived by my heart of lust
Don't trust me when I say I love you
I can't even tell you if it's true
And when their love is in doubt
It's just someone to do without

Sensual Warming
The warmth of your touch
Reminds me of how I miss you so much
The scent of your hair
Let's me know that I'm there
But I'm still caught by surprise
By the earnest love in your eyes
Your words of support take root deepened by your sincerity
Until your lips become the home I always needed them to be
Taking you in by every sense
Raises my confidence
But without you here to hold
My body lies vulnerable and cold

Independence
Living on my own
Yet not feeling all alone
Not feeling overwhelm
Got life by the helm
Never thought I'd see
This strength within me
Generally feeling that life is good
Feeling like I'm doing the best I should
But failure still constantly bringing in doubt
That's why your love is something I never go without

Poetry Post 325

Striving Relationship
For all that you are and all I can be
You're the best thing to ever happen to me
For all that I can strive fore
I could deserve nothing more
Than the intimacy of your emotion
And the intimacy of your devotion
But the intimacy of your touch
Would be asking too much
For a woman made pure
To a man so unsure

Love's Responsibilty
Think about the lonely think about the needy
And sometimes maybe give a thought about me
I may not be desperate or despondent
But everyone needs a correspondent
Friendship is a must not merely a wish
So asking for someone is not quite being so selfish
Just because we are not of immediate relation
Does not mean our love has no obligation
I know about love and accept the responsibility
True love can never dissever the reprocity
But if the love isn't true
Let me know how to move on from you

Thinking Of You
Late at night with nothing to do
Just sitting here thinking of you
Thinking of what could have been done what should have been done
Analyzing my chances of you being the one
But there's not that much to go on
When people seem to be here just waiting to be gone
Could see you this morning maybe tomorrow
Maybe for the last time ever I can never know
If not for the promise of your call
I'd have no confidence of seeing you at all
What can be done what can I do
to make sure I have more than just memories of you

Poetry Post 324 (First from the Wright State years)

Million Miles Away
When I'm lucky to see you once a day
Your love can feel a million miles away
When hello is all we have time to say
Your love can feel a million miles away
And when things just aren't alright
I pray your love will come as fast as light
And when my strength can't seem to bear the fight
I pray your love will come as fast as light

Sensory Security
Warmed by the embrace of your sound
I feel secure with you around
Captured in your body and your soul
I feel safe in your control
Rustic nature is all I see
Whenever you're with me
Symphonic voices is all I hear
Whenever you come near
To have so much is like paradise
The limits of time seem the only sacrifice

Compassionately Rewarded
Hindered by my own reservation
I timidly attempt a conversation
Topics died and shifted looking for a way to start
But in reaching for your mind I touched your heart
We spoke of love wanted and love needed and the need for something more
Thoughts and emotions started flowing from within and then started to outpour
And in talking of pain hoping for sympathy
We were rewarded with each other's empathy

Poetry Post 323

Regressed Goals
Ambitions long forgotten
Left on pages old and rotten
Goals saved for another season
Priorities without rhyme or reason
Simply following the roads straight ahead
Not for want or desire but as obligation led
Only to front a stonewall barrier
Finding in retreat regression even scarier
Regressing to the start to look again forward
To search and find again the goals I was working toward

Moss Of A Mountain's Stone
Living in the worse sense of being alone
Stuck like moss growing fat on a mountain's stone
Nowhere to go but down into the abyss
I can do nothing but just take living like this
But sometimes I can't even do that
Wondering how on Earth I got where I'm at
Hoping erosion doesn't cut off my life support
As the stones wears down slowly into dirt

Moral Equilibrium
Greater good, lesser evil
Battle of one's own free will
Blame it on nature or put it on nurture
The feeling so helpless is the greatest torture
Trying to find balance on an endless horizon
Never finding anything stable to lean on
Pride is a question of sin and virtue
Depending on someone else's point of view
Does the middle road lie on a paradox
And would someone please remove the road blocks

Poetry Post 322

Facebook Friends
Virtual relations are playing with my imagination
Your instant messages are instant gratification
It's like everything and still so much less
How much love is felt is merely a guess
Trying to read the lines between the emoticons acronyms
Measuring all the words by connotations and synonyms
We see each other online to chat
But what are we really getting at
Trying to analysis each one's point of view
Contemplating what next we should do
There's so much to try to comprehend
When you're looking for a lover in a friend

Parasite Lost
Your departure was my liberation
Because your company was degeneration
Killing my hopes until they were maggot rotten
But resurrected once thoughts of you are forgotten
No longer to fear your manipulation
Nor to fuel your ego with my exasperation
Now you're just another parasite without a host
And even if the pain lingers you're just a ghost
Untangible to my world free of your curse
I only pity who will be your next resource

Love's Word Puzzles
I want you to feel the love you make me feel
But I can't because it probably isn't real
It's hard to measure the extent of an intention
When cloaks of manners and filters are in the words mention
The difference of how the words are implied
Make the difference of how love is applied
So to play it safe I assume nothing more was meant
But what was safe about all the lonely days spent

Poetry Post 321

Aspergers Is Not A Syndrome
Sickness is not an emotion
Passion is just another word for devotion
The want of order and control
Is in every human soul
When sincerity seems like a delusion
What else is left but anxiety and confusion
But this does not make one sick, impaired or dumb
Asperger's is not a syndrome
A different social perspective
Does not make one socially defective
Different skills simply make a different tool
As long as I am able I know am not a fool

Still Hurting II
Depressed, disstressed looking at your picture
Pining, knowing there's no fantasy anymore
But what else is there to do
The self prophesy came true
The same situation produces nothing new
Why did I hope for something different in you
Expecting something in you to come through
You are a great friend but we couldn't stand a chance
Our love is strong but with emotional distance
We could never be lovers we could hardly stay friends
But the finalization is something my heart never comprehends

Soul Mate Searching
Preoccupied and lonely
Looking for my first, my best, my only
How can I get through the lonesome night
If I can't recognize the one who's right
How could I be whole and master my own fate
If I search without recognition of my own mate
Who is she? Where shall she be? How would she know me?
There's too many variables in this mystery
Perhaps true love is not ansolute
But I can't settle for a substitute

Poetry Post 320

Promiscuous Words
I saved my flesh but am no virgin of word
Professing love to so many too many heard
Now I have nothing left to be sworn
My confessed love has worn and torn
But I never want to give up on true romance
Lending word, deed and heart is my only chance
So I will always give it another try
I may often be wrong but I never lie
So trust these words as true and sincere
Your love and friendship are what I hold dear
And if mutual feelings were just made clear
My battered used heart would never again fear

Searching For Sanity
I look for knowledge and find only confusion
And facts discovered by minds of delusion
With their wisdom built by illusion
Logic being only a mirage
Self defense turns to self sabotage
And we become our own barage
O sanity the sweet idealized angelic lover
The mysteries of your comfort to uncover
Only in finding you can we ourselves discover

Bittersweet Memories
What happened to the promises to stick together
Love taught me friends are forever
But experience taught me better
Everything I can't forget
Is merely another regret
I wonder if you're as upset
That we are told to take growing changes passively
To pack all childhood feelings into a buried memory
But nostalgic songs and games keep the memory coming back to me

Poetry Post 319

Serenity
In peaceful serenity
Cut off from the bonds of society
Alone no pain can reach me
Guarded from bitter emnity
Void of others avoing stress
No problems I have to address
In solitude I can decompress
Enjoying the moment feeling bless

The High
Surrogate affection or just effective distraction
Something about addiction has a powerful attraction
Something warm, both familiar and strange
Another dimension, an open range
You're at home and somewhere else
You're someone new but still yourself
Whether fulfilled or empty
There's no more inner void to see
No longer insecure or withdrawn
Self-intimidation is momentarily gone
This is how I was socially meant to be
To be in one's own element absolutely free

Cage Of Apathy
Trapped in a cage of apathy
Powerless to the world beyond me
Crutching to meaningless aids to cope
How can I preach a message of hope
Maybe I could help others
If I knew who were my brothers
Or if I just had the means to assist
But my weaknesses persist
And self doubt makes me a pillar of miserly apathy
With no one to care for or look after me

Poetry Post 318

Freeness Of Speech
Where there is love there is freeness of speech
This is the fondest goal I have to reach
And with you this goal is attained
For I have no need for my thoughts to be retained
With you acceptance and trust by choice words aren't bought
You look at the feelings of the heart to see the intent of the thought
You know my transparency is not a trick to deceive
And you know not to hurt a heart so naive

Perfect Paradox
A love so pure and unrestrained
A perfect paradox unexplained
Mutual satisfaction of each other's affection
Our love grows by the sight of it's own reflection
It is an invigorating drug that calms and sedates
Securely in our embrace in both excited and restful states

The End Of Harmony
I believe it was 1970
When someone last heard the harmony
Has it been that long since
I heard two Rocks sing of Silence
I wonder back to Clarksville and Pleasant Valley
Finding only Lonely Hearts and bitter irony
And then I see the image of Mother Mary
Crying Let It Be Let It Be
As the Magic Dragon sleeps forever more
Never returning to play on the sunny shore
Glory was just a fiery phase
And the smoke cleared to a Purple Haze
Give Another Piece Of Your Heart and There's Nothing Left To Lose
So you get freedom to do anything but choose
Just relive the glories of seasons past
As you wonder how long the feeling's going to last

Poetry Post 317

Eternal Battle Of Sin
Every moment you don't give in
Is another victory over sin
But when does the battle finally end
It's useless to try to comprehend
The battle can end whenever you chose
So long as you don't mind being the one to lose
Can there be a complete victory
Unless we're temptation free
And how can you win over temptation
Its contemplation versus sensation
But the heart is prone to treason
As our mind tries to reason
That every sin is its own situation
But try to avoid a biased evaluation
If its too strong or light
You'll never get the balance right

Making A Point Against Contrary People
Everytime I speak two stand against me
Everytime I say my peace they won't let it be
Like facing a wall casting stones
Never breaking through anything but broken bones
The more I defend the greater the offense
Impenatrable they mock me at my own expense
The more I try to breakthrough
The less they have to do
Weakened by ricocheted shots
Welting up the sore spots
I know I can't fight anymore
But the more I know what I'm fighting for

Lonely Family
All day I sit at home alone but not lonely
Until my family is present to ignore me
Half distracted by their choice of recreation
The other half from self imposed isolation
Not that this is a serious problem
There's nothing I feel free to talk about with them
And if they can't accept my beliefs and who I am
Then I suppose I have no reason to give a damn

Poetry Post (John's) 316

Failure Of The System
What culture rewards the pure and wise
Territorial brute force always steals the prize
Easy conquests runs the machines of our enterprise
As leaders die by integrity or live by compromise
Catering to the forces that demoralise
And blinds the heart of society's eyes
So that we see but can't recognize
The evil that we publicize

Nomadic Parasites
My heart is a nomadic parasite
Camping on a new prospect every night
I'm looking for something symbiotic
But finding a host is too chaotic
It's not that I can't earn my right to live
I have a lot of assets I'm ready to give
But I don't have the gift of adaptability
So in the jungle of love I'm a liability
So sleeping like a bat in a cave
I worry only about my own soul to save

Dreams Undetermined
When I dream of you
And all the things you do
I can see how you nurture and care
And I feel the dark strains of your softly coarse hair
And I hear you converse so intellectually wise
As I stare into your gentle piercing almond eyes
And from lips soft and full to my tender touch
I hear you stand firm to the beliefs that mean so much
But we can still share our disguarding wit
And enjoy the laughter and the sight of your cheeks fully lit
One day I shall rest my head on your tight muscular thighs
And trace its curavceous fruit without a sense of compromise
One day love will make us vulnerable
But sacred vows of monogamy will keep it honorable
And no restraints on our passion's fire
Except to be as the other one's desire
But is this true love or a dirty fetish
An honorable goal or a selfish wish
But I believe its love even if we're yet to meet
Because what I see in my mind is all that's concrete

Poetry Post 315

Twine Of Motives
A war is waging between my thoughts and feelings
Layered in a mesh its hard to pull the peelings
Good and bad motives seem outside and within
I can't reach my heart to see where to begin
In life so lost with confusion
Perhaps morals are merely an illusion

My Father
The man who raised me to know wrong from right
Is getting old and losing his foresight
In the war of life he's giving up the fight
He felt he needed to lead and command
I would have followed his lending leading hand
But what I really needed of him he couldn't understand
I just wanted someone who would listen and care
And try his hardest to always be there
And he succeeded but was not aware
We lived to have the other's approval
Only to be devastated by the other's removal
Giving in to death's unforgiving reproval

Detours
I may have not always been good
But I've been everything I could
It's hard wandering looking for where I came
When so many forks in the road all look the same
And every wrong turn is another disgrace
With another road you have to retrace
So each wrong brings more unraveling
Making a vain journey of life I've been traveling

Poetry Post 314

The Cat Connection
In your wild eyes I see my reflection
My dreams of freedom and protection
You have achieved a life of perfection
Yet you still seek out our affection
Thus no ulterior motives in our connection
You and me live free and love free
Simply for the joy of each other's company
Only for matters of the heart do I need you or you need me
And yet this is the secret of our compatibility
Two solos merging a duet harmoniously

Delusions Of Fantasy
If you pay a fee
To indulge in a fantasy
Keep a little mystery
Don't look for intimacy
It's only suppose to feel not be perfect
But getting too close you'll find a defect
Something that makes the situation seem suspect

Conflict & Domination
Whites who don't support the whites are called traitors
But blacks who don't betray their own are called white haters
A man supporting his wife is called henpecked
But a woman who raises doubts is regarded as unchecked
Anyone can choose polytheism, monotheism or atheism
As long as the principles don't contradict with militant patriotism
It just seems like the conflict isn't man against man
It is just a matter of domination of the other man

Poetry Post 313

Kohl's Lingerie Model
Beautiful in a way
That's too subtle to say
Your smile could mean a million different things
Wondering if you understand the desire it brings
You look like the every girl next door
But somehow unlike any I've seen before
You have a look that is its own trend
As you look like the ultimate girlfriend
Your natural beauty playing tricks on my mind
Wondering how a beauty so natural be so hard to find

The End
Bulging gut and atrocious teeth
Not much to hide the frail psyche underneath
Alone stewing in my own insecurities
No gifts of golden opportunities
Shameful inside and out
A will succumbed to doubt

Reflections Of Temptation
Deep inside I know I'm no good
Even with knowledge I don't do as I should
Maybe fleshly intimidation
Hinders my spiritual meditation
That I actually know is true
But it doesn't make a defense easy to do

Poetry Post 312 (Discouraged but continuing)

Don Quixote's Blues
Why do I believe every cliché
Like truth will prevail and love will find a way
It only fertilizes my cynicism every day
And each day it's chances passes ever more away
If believing against reality makes one insane
Then idealism is the world's greatest pain
Because it works on what isn't there to maintain
While you're not able to make yourself sustain

Ode To The Madness That Brings Suicide
Suicide comes when pain has no relief
And when one dies it spreads a fire of grief
As one questions life there comes disbelief
So much damage in a time so brief
Because suicide's contagious
It robs us of life's stages
Expurgates life's pages
Bringing madness to wise sages

Shallow Heart
Mirror Mirror On the wall
Can you make this judgment call
Mirror Mirror tell me what is true
Tell me what I'm suppose to do
I have no conscience of my own
I'm only right if I'm not alone
I cannot make it or pull it through
Every situation appears brand new
Shallow Shallow Heart I must disown
Shallow Shallow are your ways prone

Poetry Post 311 (soon to retire)

Free Verse Of A Trapped Mind
My parents are hypocrites
They give an illusion of options
With implicit boundaries
They want me to be them
When they rejected their parents
Where's the justice
It's lost in cruel irony
God gave me free will
But no one wants me to exercise it
So screw my free will and give me death

Artistic Disclaimer
I'm not self indulgent just self reflective
I write strictly of my own perspective
I am not a stooge or a corporate fool
I use the mass media as my tool
Whatever I say I speak true
I never waiver in my point of view
And from speaking truth I shall never cease
Because I have too far to go till I reach my masterpiece

Poetic Farewell
My writings of poems has come to an end
Now to the readers searching for a friend
This volume to you I send
Now as the ink pen of my brain runs dry
And life goes on passing me by
To you loyal readers I say goodbye