Movie Outline: I Was A Teenage TV Executive

Title: I Was A Teenage TV Executive
Genre: Parody Comedy (inspired by and a tribute to UHF by Al Yankovic and Jay Levey)
Characters:
Albert Newton- teenager studying media arts who gets control of a local station
Thomas E. Berliwitz- tv executive
Merv Kline- tv head honcho
Carmen Santez- Newton's secretary
Honey Bare- Berliwitz's secretary
Plot: A student in film class does extra-curricular work volunteering at a local cable access network making quick rash television concepts but needs to fake a degree and a union card to be hired but nearly loses his job when this is revealed
Scene Sequence:
1) Tedious college classes with Albert dreaming ideas on a school notepad for television shows
2) Workshop practice scene with Albert goofing off in front of all the cameras
3) A hard deal finding a station to take on Albert as an apprentice
4) Apprenticeship to small non-network affiliated station
5) An overworked first day of errand running between sketch drawings and plot outlines
6) An executive finds a scrap of paper with a television idea called "Clinton and Bush-Head" as a parody of Beavis and Butt-head
7) Executive Berliwitz takes the idea and uses it at the meeting
8) The boss Kline meets the executive afterwards and asks who really had the idea
9) The trail to Albert
10) A job offer he can't refuse no classes ever again
11) A fake degree and union card forged
12) His very own office and secretarial assistant Carmen for any menial work
13) Ideas sent out to execs via paper airplane thru air tunnel constructed from the air ducts
14) Second day secretary comes to work in dominatrix outfit as requested by Albert but with flirtatious dialog of her own initiative
15) An ad appears for "Clinton and Bush-Head"
16) Second idea materializes as "Survivor" a reality dating show with five women group dating a serial killer last one alive wins
17) "Edward The Idiot Elephant" commercial a monotone elephant hosts sub-par children's program with subliminal militant right wing messages
18) "Peter The Pink Flamingo" flamboyant over-energized children's program with homosexual undertones
19) Thomas Berliwitz and Merv Kline are awarded an Emmy for Best Children's Programming
20) "The Mansons" a reality show that follows the Manson Family's daily life in prison
21) "Mel's Ho Place" the tragic love relationships of mistresses and madams in an an L.A. brothel
22) "XY Files" a startling sci-fi on teenage boys' minds
23) Head of major network affiliate in town wants a spy sent to obscure rising station
24) Honey Bare sent to the station as a spy in guise to replace Berliwitz's secretary meanwhile Carmen is in a French Maid outfit
25) Honey learns about the true source of the ideas from Carmen not knowing her scheme
26) Background source on Albert Newton
27) Scandal exposed to the union's ethics committee
28) Albert must be fired or the station will lose its license
29) Finding out they only know about the forged union card Albert gets an idea
30) "Malcolm X In The Middle" Radical Black Leader as a teenager with a younger brother Urkel from "Family Matters" and an older brother J.J. from "Good Times"
31) "Desperately Seeking Love" Six white yuppie friends from Manhattan with great 401ks and physical appearances bicker and moan at an over priced Starbucks about their over sexed lives
32) Alfred appeals to the union to get a real union card with his college degree in "Media Arts and Sciences" and Carmen as a nurse
33) After much consideration Alfred gets his license
34) Next day at work Albert gets a promotion and Carmen gets propsed to in her Catholic schoolgirl uniform

Volume 22 Poetry

If I Were A Girl (If I Were A Boy parody)
If I were a girl
I could give all my heart to one who doesn't care
And never appreciate the one who's always there
If I were a girl
I could say I want a nice type of guy
But given the chance I wouldn't give one a try
If I were a girl
I would work out in a tight shirt and miniskirt
And call every guy looking a sick old pervert
If I were a girl
I would flirt to see who loves me more
And claw out the eyes of anyone who calls me a whore
If I were a girl
I would insist that you love me for who I am within
But spend my hours beautifying my skin
If I were a girl

Tribute To Rodney
I sat and laughed at my own insecurity
You found humor where we'd leave misery
When we didn't have any hope
Your humor was a tool to cope
You showed we could bond with our mutual depression
We could be happy taking our feelings out of repression
We were united
As the world's uninvited
We could find a better way of dealing
Expressing every hurt feeling
Finding our humor is our healing

Nations Of Man (Prophesy Of Isaiah)
Nations of man why won't you disarm
Turn you tools of death to tools of the farm
Feeding the oppressed and needy protects them from harm
Not becoming a nation on the brink of chaos and alarm
Is a nation strong when the poor die young and weak
Is there any justice if only money can speak
How can a nation be holy when vain idols are all they seek
What hope is there for any nation when Earth's seems so bleak