No Offense Taken "Authorities Film Review"

(talk show setting with three men in cushioned chairs)
Rev. Whelps: Hello I'm Reverend Whelps and welcome to another addition of the Spanish Inquisition (stutters and gathers wits) ah sorry I meant Cinema Digest. Today we will reproach four films....
Sen. Plots: (interrupting) Review four films (slows speech) coming out on special edition DVD.
Rev. Whelps: (confused) Why did you cut me off right there Senator Plots?
Mr. Tobacco: Because you said reproach four films Reverend.
Rev. Whelps: (anguished) Damn, every week. (calmly) Thank you once again Senator Plots and Mr. Tobacco. First of Fahrenheit 9/11 aside from the film there are a few extras including EDITED OUT SCENES.
Senator Plots: Proof that he WAS HIDING SOMETHING
Mr. Tobacco: Yes! But (disgustedly) he said he had to cut them due to time length and (sarcastically) context.
Rev. Whelps: Yeah with all that talk about the Patriot Act and he did not once mention the bright side of this fine Christian Law. Like light toned people without beards don't have to wait five hours to board a plane. Some preachers in Idaho I know really appreciate this.
Sen. Plots: And with all that footage stuff with George Bush you'd THINK George Bush would get to talk on the commentary
Mr. Tobacco: I golfed with the President.
Rev. Whelps: When?
Mr. Tobacco: Well if you look real close you can see the tip of my baseball cap in the golf scene of Fahrenheit 9/11
Rev. Whelps: I thought that cap looked particularly clean. Next Bowling For Columbine a horrible film by the over-prolific Michael Moore (others moan in disgust)
Mr. Tobacco: Not again
Sen. Plots: Yes and he attacks the honorable NRA. Apparently Michael is blind to the connection between rock music and murder, and race and murder.
Mr. Tobacco: Yes he seems to think it's about poverty not race a nice try to cover the truth being as most black people also tend to be poor. (lights a cigarette) He seems to also think the poor are victimized by corporations who happen to want an honest day's wages for a minutes worth of work what's wrong with that? Besides if black people were that poor how come I'm wearing a three thousand dollar suit?
Sen. Plots: Yeah what's more Michael makes an insidious connection between guns and murder. What's the CONNECTION? Guns don't kill people, CRIMINALS with guns kill people!
Rev. Whelps: Yes and on that note let's move on to Life of Brian and I'm going to take this film on my own since I'm the expert on Christ and such. I'll roll by commandment by commandment first there is no other Lord except I your God who lead you out of Israel, well not in this film because they seem to worship this guy Brian strike one. Second Thou shall use no graven idols in worship well they're okay there (hiding his cross). Three Thou shall not use the Lord's name in vain well they say Jehovah (crowd gasps) repeatedly (crowd gasps) in a comic sketch about stoning what was the purpose of that sketch certainly that sketch was in vain. Strike two. Fourth thou shall hold the Sabbath sacred and they seem to rather well. Fifth honor thy mother and thy father but apparently Brian doesn't have a father and his mother was a harlot who dressed as a man in the stoning scene so it was a non-traditional family anyway so strike three.
Mr. Tobacco: (interrupting) But being a non-traditional family isn't breaking a commandment.
Rev. Whelps: How would you know sinner?
Sen. Plots: Well you're the one who told me that.
Rev. Whelps: Shut up, next film.
Sen Plots: What about the other commandments?
Rev. Whelps: It's already three strikes.
Mr. Tobacco: Well you wouldn't let us watch it so we'd like to know about others.
Rev. Whelps: Okay they murder Brian in the crucifix scene.
Sen. Plots: (interrupting) But Jesus was crucified and you said that was a good thing?
Rev. Whelps: Shut up next film Birth Of A Nation a wonderful film from 1915 with dazzling special effects can we show a clip?
(clip: black and white silent montage film of a cross burning, black minstrel show, a buxom white women toyingly chased around in a night gown by a black man on a dilapidated film reel)
Rev. Whelps: Disgusting people (African American stage hand walking behind Rev, Whelps to tap him on the shoulder)
Stagehand: Ah sir
Rev. Whelps: (apologetic) Oh no I didn't mean black people African American people I meant the ones that sleep with or rape I mean rape white women I mean women.
Stagehand: It's not that your show ran over time and we had to cut it short.
Sen. Plots: At what part did you stop rolling?
Stagehand: By the nine hundred thirty second complaint call
Mr. Tobacco: How that's only a third of what we got last week when we talked about cults.
Stagehands: Well Scientology has a lot more devoted followers
All three: Oh yeah

Part 30 Poetry (and just getting warmed up)

To Heather Mills

Heather, a lady deserving of dignity
Heather, a woman I serve with loyalty
To her I'll give my whole-hearted dedication
To her I'll give her non-restraining protection
I'll show my affection as a platonic friend
Until the passion of love it shall transcend
Passion and compassion, lover and friend
Mixed together in an equilibrium blend
As a true gentleman and her lover
I shall until eternity love her
A love of respect and of consideration
A love like calming meditation
A love of freedom and security
A love of passion and of purity

Comfort Love
I want a love that fits like a pennyloafer
Comfort casual a friendship that's hardly more
One that can go with me anywhere and not get complicated
Together so long our quirks won't get us irritated
If I can't have a friendship with romance
I would not give it half a chance
It's as simple as it sounds love won't last without love
Love that warms and protects like a cotton glove

Senseless Censorship
Liberals censoring the politically incorrect
Conservatives censoring the "dissident sect"
Protecting us against senseless muttering
So many beeps on the t.v. set sounds like stuttering
All that is said is mute or dumb
Waiting years for wisdom to come
Why are why are Bush and Clinton heroes
But we persecute those on talk shows
Why is Michael Moore the commie?
Why is Bill O'Reilly the Nazi?
The President and Congressmen have the power
The commentators only have their hour

The Pattern

My blog has by now formed a pattern every other blog is a trilogy of poems which comes up next by then this one is either to feature a movie outline I've made or state something personal. Since I'm still banking on poetry to be stronghold in the literary world I'll give some insight to my poems. On August 14 or 16, 1998 I started writing when I was listening almost into purely pop music and oldies. the poetry I enjoyed reading was Edgar Allan Poe, Robert Louis Stevenson, Robert Frost, Emily Dickinson and Dylan Thomas (too a much less degree). The Beatles lead me to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd which lyrically impressed me deeply followed by Neil Young and Nirvana. In the early years of the second Iraq War I was in Sinclair Community College (I dropped out due to personal stress in 2005). My experience there expanded my artistic interests. I watched Michael Moore films and listened to Public Enemy also dabbling in the Clash and Rage Against The Machine, so I can't really define myself on the political spectrum but the consequences of the world around me caused me to see the incompetences of The Right, not that I've been blind to what I do not care for in The Left, but I understand what I write will get a political analysis that due to the years of my writing I appear left wing but I am not. I'm a Jehovah's Witness and my views have never aligned with anything else religious or political not that I don't look into other viewpoints, but what I believe to be true in one area or another bars me from political compatibility to any party. Also my dad's love for Fox News was very irritating.