Genre: Dark Comedy (a la Ben Stiller)
Plot: 12 famed musicians meet in rehab and place a wager after reaching sobriety that the last on surviving gets the rights to their collective works as an incentive to stay sober. With a net worth of $4.5 billion dollars each member is trying to bump off the other eleven with drugs.
Characters:
Jimmy James-coked out blues guitarist
Johnny Ryall- drunk country guitarist
Billie Armstrong-famed pop pianist hooked on uppers
Zack Kremlin-alcoholic lead singer of heavy metal band Stonehenge
John Harding-pot smoking protest folk rock singer
Master Aster J-crack addict hip hop MC
Tammy Cat-twenty something female pop singer addicted to pain killers
Dave Cooper-glam rocker hooked on heroin and cocaine
Chris Albano-heroin addict lead singer of grudge metal group Raging Youth
Derek Domino-pot smoking white blues guitarist from The Holy Sinners
Matt Chronic-heroin/pot addict bass player from death metal band Matricide
Howie Alexander-boy band singer from the Noize Boyz addicted to pain killers
Scene Sequence:
1) At a nightclub cops having found out Howie and Tammy are abusing pain killers catch them in the bathroom stall
2) Scandal exposed on MTV
3) At a Tibetan benefit concert Zack, Chris and Matt pass out and sent to rehab
4) Scandal exposed on MTV
5) Master Aster J arrested for disorderly conduct and found in possession of crack
6) Scandal exposed on BET
7) Dave found motionless on the floor sent to the hospital
8) Scandal exposed on VH1
9) Billie crashes into a family of eight and is arrested
10) Scandal is exposed on VH1
11) Johnny, Jimmy, John and Derek are arrested on the Ohio-Kentucky border for speeding and then a drug bust
12) Scandal exposed on FM radio
13) First day at rehab they all meet by the tennis court/pool/lounge
14) Group therapy
15) New medication
16) A Devil's Deal signing sole rights to their collective works on the last sober member
17) Fully rehabilitated
18) Jimmy James takes Billie Armstrong on an over extensive tour with him
19) Tammy Kat gets Howie Alexander into extreme sports
20) Derek Domino takes Master Aster J on the South leg of his upcoming tour
21) Chris Albano asks Matt Chronic to play with him up in Canada
22) Zack Kremlin and Dave Cooper play together at Ozzfest
23) John Harding and Johnny Ryall retire to live in the country
24) Billie Armstrong dies from a heart attack while performing
25) Howie dies when he loses control of his dirt bike when two dozen pain killers kick in
26) Master Aster J is shot after an Oklahoma City concert
27) Dave Cooper trampled by unruly concert mob
28) Matt Chronic gets pot induced stroke dies
29) Zack, Tammy, Jimmy, Chris and Derek celebrate elaborately unknowingly drinking alcohol sent by an anonymous caterer
30) Johnny Ryall and John Harding share the inheritance and donates a vast portion to Feed The Poor
Monday, June 29, 2009
Legal Advice
Thoreau:
So Mr Dawson do you think we have a case?
Mr Dawson:
How would you pay my legal fee in the first place?
Thoreau:
Isn't that question a little off base?
Anyway you said we can pay when we win
Mr Dawson:
Well we won't we've lost before we can begin
Thoreau:
A worthy cause is still worth the time to invest in
Mr Dawson:
Thoreau you can't make a living on a worthy cause
I know of all the legal torts and read every contract clause
And on all technical levels the company obeyed all the bylaws
So Mr Dawson do you think we have a case?
Mr Dawson:
How would you pay my legal fee in the first place?
Thoreau:
Isn't that question a little off base?
Anyway you said we can pay when we win
Mr Dawson:
Well we won't we've lost before we can begin
Thoreau:
A worthy cause is still worth the time to invest in
Mr Dawson:
Thoreau you can't make a living on a worthy cause
I know of all the legal torts and read every contract clause
And on all technical levels the company obeyed all the bylaws
Movie Idea "Waxed Flowers"
Genre: Thriller
Characters:
Adam Winters-neurotic mentally/socially challenged late teenage boy
Mary Winters-Adam's little sister
Andrew Dahmer-boyfriend of Mary
Alice Winters-mother, nurse
Plot: A local socially inept simpleton named Adam Winters lives as a shut in taking to a hobby of growing flowers indoors and at the flower's peak taking them out of the soil and preserving the flowers in wax. His slightly younger sister Mary gets date raped at age 15 in her bedroom next to his by a guy posing as Adam's friend named Andrew, Adam easily distracted doesn't notice Andrew and Mary appear missing from the activity the three normally engage in like eating and watching tv, walking, riding bikes. When he finds out he shuts down but no one seems to notice as she marries Andrew at the age of 18. Adam unableto focus on getting work drives out to the school playground seeing girls of 11 or 12 staying safe away from the schoolboys. Well trusted at night he takes little girls from the park offering a ride home. Takes them to an empty dilapidated house after they fall asleep in the car takes out his blanket and suffocates them in their sleep barely giving them time to wake up and fight back. He manages to kill for a couple of weeks keeping the bodies unscarred wrapped in sheets taken from his mother's hospital and placed in a 6ftx6ftx6ft hole under the floor boards of the empty house. Andrew catches him on a night watch and reports him to the authorities ignoring Mary's plea to get him psychiatred help. Adam is arrested and brutalized in prison as he awaits an appending death penalty in 15 years.
Characters:
Adam Winters-neurotic mentally/socially challenged late teenage boy
Mary Winters-Adam's little sister
Andrew Dahmer-boyfriend of Mary
Alice Winters-mother, nurse
Plot: A local socially inept simpleton named Adam Winters lives as a shut in taking to a hobby of growing flowers indoors and at the flower's peak taking them out of the soil and preserving the flowers in wax. His slightly younger sister Mary gets date raped at age 15 in her bedroom next to his by a guy posing as Adam's friend named Andrew, Adam easily distracted doesn't notice Andrew and Mary appear missing from the activity the three normally engage in like eating and watching tv, walking, riding bikes. When he finds out he shuts down but no one seems to notice as she marries Andrew at the age of 18. Adam unableto focus on getting work drives out to the school playground seeing girls of 11 or 12 staying safe away from the schoolboys. Well trusted at night he takes little girls from the park offering a ride home. Takes them to an empty dilapidated house after they fall asleep in the car takes out his blanket and suffocates them in their sleep barely giving them time to wake up and fight back. He manages to kill for a couple of weeks keeping the bodies unscarred wrapped in sheets taken from his mother's hospital and placed in a 6ftx6ftx6ft hole under the floor boards of the empty house. Andrew catches him on a night watch and reports him to the authorities ignoring Mary's plea to get him psychiatred help. Adam is arrested and brutalized in prison as he awaits an appending death penalty in 15 years.
Failure
Farmer Neil:
Things are not going as we predicted
Every farmer in the union just got evicted
Thoreau:
But your contract didn't imply unions were restricted
Farmer Neil:
No but thanks to that corporate shill
We were all signed and hired at will
They can fire and evict without any obligations to fulfill
Thoreau:
So basically they can fire you all anytime they feel
That doesn't sound like a legal deal
We could get a lawyer to file an appeal
Farmer Neil:
And how would we pay for the legal fee
I'm going to appeal to the tobacco company
See if they'd consider rehiring me
Things are not going as we predicted
Every farmer in the union just got evicted
Thoreau:
But your contract didn't imply unions were restricted
Farmer Neil:
No but thanks to that corporate shill
We were all signed and hired at will
They can fire and evict without any obligations to fulfill
Thoreau:
So basically they can fire you all anytime they feel
That doesn't sound like a legal deal
We could get a lawyer to file an appeal
Farmer Neil:
And how would we pay for the legal fee
I'm going to appeal to the tobacco company
See if they'd consider rehiring me
No Offense Taken "Cyrano's Witnesses"
(porch steps)
Cyrano's Witness #1: Hello I'm just going door to door to promote my local book club would you be interested in reading and discussing Cyrano de Bergerac?
Home Owner: Which translation?
Cyrano's Witness #2: The Lowell Bair translation of 1972.
Home Owner: No I wouldn't then I only read the King James translation. (shuts door)
Cyrano's Witness #1: Hello I'm just going door to door to promote my local book club would you be interested in reading and discussing Cyrano de Bergerac?
Home Owner: Which translation?
Cyrano's Witness #2: The Lowell Bair translation of 1972.
Home Owner: No I wouldn't then I only read the King James translation. (shuts door)
CEO Meeting
Raleigh:
Hello my fellow CEOs sorry about the ACLU's backlash
But our product is fool proof against a market crash
It's more addictive than heroine, users would find boycotts too rash
CEO #1:
All the same we have union busters to appeal for government investigation
This isn't our first proletariat instigation
CEO #2:
But if we make this political non-smokers can provoke new litigation
CEO #3:
Not likely since we live in a constant state of social apathy
Citizens don't care what's allowed as long as it doesn't hurt their own liberty
We can continue to sell death in the spirit of living free
Hello my fellow CEOs sorry about the ACLU's backlash
But our product is fool proof against a market crash
It's more addictive than heroine, users would find boycotts too rash
CEO #1:
All the same we have union busters to appeal for government investigation
This isn't our first proletariat instigation
CEO #2:
But if we make this political non-smokers can provoke new litigation
CEO #3:
Not likely since we live in a constant state of social apathy
Citizens don't care what's allowed as long as it doesn't hurt their own liberty
We can continue to sell death in the spirit of living free
Poetry Post 310 (next to last peotry blogpost!!!!)
Masochist
I mop up other people's small problems like a dish rag
I take other people's hostility like a punching bag
I help acquaintances worse off than me
But my "true friends" are my worst enemy
Acquaintances see me as a gentleman they can trust
Friends look at me like I'm a slave of lust
My acquaintances I can confide in when I'm hurt
But at home I'm a rejected pervert
Sinners of lust are punished by sinners of wrath
Defense mechanisms of guilt deter my path
As I defend an already bruised ego
For those who don't even half know
Road To Conquering
How hard is hard enough
The road to recovery is too rough
The battle is my own
So I have to conquer it alone
I don't want others to get in the fight
Even if it may seem right
I can't carry this heavy load covered in fears
With the faces of disgust, misunderstanding, pity and tears
Dragging behind me all day and all night
If I go alone I alone lose the fight
(this poem was in part from being falsely accused of something terrible and not having anyone who believed me by my side at the time because it sounded like something I would do and other parts about the general disapproval I felt from various adult authorities for going through puberty)
Capital Punishment
Joey has been a bad boy today
Let's take all his pride and joy away
Let's tear his flesh and break his bones apart
Let's fry his brain and freeze his broken heart
This punishment is still too low
For a boy with a libido
When did he become such a sick pervert
Joey deserves to get himself hurt
What good in the world has come out of being in love
Though it was divinely created from God above
It is only a myth that there is a beauty of birth
We were not commanded to populate the entire Earth
I mop up other people's small problems like a dish rag
I take other people's hostility like a punching bag
I help acquaintances worse off than me
But my "true friends" are my worst enemy
Acquaintances see me as a gentleman they can trust
Friends look at me like I'm a slave of lust
My acquaintances I can confide in when I'm hurt
But at home I'm a rejected pervert
Sinners of lust are punished by sinners of wrath
Defense mechanisms of guilt deter my path
As I defend an already bruised ego
For those who don't even half know
Road To Conquering
How hard is hard enough
The road to recovery is too rough
The battle is my own
So I have to conquer it alone
I don't want others to get in the fight
Even if it may seem right
I can't carry this heavy load covered in fears
With the faces of disgust, misunderstanding, pity and tears
Dragging behind me all day and all night
If I go alone I alone lose the fight
(this poem was in part from being falsely accused of something terrible and not having anyone who believed me by my side at the time because it sounded like something I would do and other parts about the general disapproval I felt from various adult authorities for going through puberty)
Capital Punishment
Joey has been a bad boy today
Let's take all his pride and joy away
Let's tear his flesh and break his bones apart
Let's fry his brain and freeze his broken heart
This punishment is still too low
For a boy with a libido
When did he become such a sick pervert
Joey deserves to get himself hurt
What good in the world has come out of being in love
Though it was divinely created from God above
It is only a myth that there is a beauty of birth
We were not commanded to populate the entire Earth
Agricultural Cultivation Laborers Union
Thoreau:
Welcome to the Agricultural Cultivation Laborers Union
We are uploading this video on the web so the world can tune in
I'm not a farmer but have access to the conditions they are working in
This is farmer and president Neil Zimmerman
He's going to outline the union's goals and its plan
Farmer Neil:
Thank you Thoreau these are the goals of a years time span
The tobacco companies promise high wages as an incentive to grow
But when every farmer at the poverty line tries the wages drop low
But addiction still costs a fortune for those using the tobacco
So the ACLU district 36 is on a mission
That farmers always get paid on commission
And get government grants for those farming cheaper crops on a moral decision
And we recommend a state maximum acreage to grow tobacco on
And the farmers willing can rotate on that opportunity every season
So that economically and ecologically everyone's helped within reason
Welcome to the Agricultural Cultivation Laborers Union
We are uploading this video on the web so the world can tune in
I'm not a farmer but have access to the conditions they are working in
This is farmer and president Neil Zimmerman
He's going to outline the union's goals and its plan
Farmer Neil:
Thank you Thoreau these are the goals of a years time span
The tobacco companies promise high wages as an incentive to grow
But when every farmer at the poverty line tries the wages drop low
But addiction still costs a fortune for those using the tobacco
So the ACLU district 36 is on a mission
That farmers always get paid on commission
And get government grants for those farming cheaper crops on a moral decision
And we recommend a state maximum acreage to grow tobacco on
And the farmers willing can rotate on that opportunity every season
So that economically and ecologically everyone's helped within reason
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