working on new screenplay

it's about an autistic white college man looking for a girlfriend and falling in love with a black single mother college student. it works around how social awkwardness can sabotage good relationships that have strong common ground

Poetry Post 326

Heart Of Lust
I am selfish not one to trust
Deceived by my heart of lust
Don't trust me when I say I love you
I can't even tell you if it's true
And when their love is in doubt
It's just someone to do without

Sensual Warming
The warmth of your touch
Reminds me of how I miss you so much
The scent of your hair
Let's me know that I'm there
But I'm still caught by surprise
By the earnest love in your eyes
Your words of support take root deepened by your sincerity
Until your lips become the home I always needed them to be
Taking you in by every sense
Raises my confidence
But without you here to hold
My body lies vulnerable and cold

Independence
Living on my own
Yet not feeling all alone
Not feeling overwhelm
Got life by the helm
Never thought I'd see
This strength within me
Generally feeling that life is good
Feeling like I'm doing the best I should
But failure still constantly bringing in doubt
That's why your love is something I never go without

Poetry Post 325

Striving Relationship
For all that you are and all I can be
You're the best thing to ever happen to me
For all that I can strive fore
I could deserve nothing more
Than the intimacy of your emotion
And the intimacy of your devotion
But the intimacy of your touch
Would be asking too much
For a woman made pure
To a man so unsure

Love's Responsibilty
Think about the lonely think about the needy
And sometimes maybe give a thought about me
I may not be desperate or despondent
But everyone needs a correspondent
Friendship is a must not merely a wish
So asking for someone is not quite being so selfish
Just because we are not of immediate relation
Does not mean our love has no obligation
I know about love and accept the responsibility
True love can never dissever the reprocity
But if the love isn't true
Let me know how to move on from you

Thinking Of You
Late at night with nothing to do
Just sitting here thinking of you
Thinking of what could have been done what should have been done
Analyzing my chances of you being the one
But there's not that much to go on
When people seem to be here just waiting to be gone
Could see you this morning maybe tomorrow
Maybe for the last time ever I can never know
If not for the promise of your call
I'd have no confidence of seeing you at all
What can be done what can I do
to make sure I have more than just memories of you

Poetry Post 324 (First from the Wright State years)

Million Miles Away
When I'm lucky to see you once a day
Your love can feel a million miles away
When hello is all we have time to say
Your love can feel a million miles away
And when things just aren't alright
I pray your love will come as fast as light
And when my strength can't seem to bear the fight
I pray your love will come as fast as light

Sensory Security
Warmed by the embrace of your sound
I feel secure with you around
Captured in your body and your soul
I feel safe in your control
Rustic nature is all I see
Whenever you're with me
Symphonic voices is all I hear
Whenever you come near
To have so much is like paradise
The limits of time seem the only sacrifice

Compassionately Rewarded
Hindered by my own reservation
I timidly attempt a conversation
Topics died and shifted looking for a way to start
But in reaching for your mind I touched your heart
We spoke of love wanted and love needed and the need for something more
Thoughts and emotions started flowing from within and then started to outpour
And in talking of pain hoping for sympathy
We were rewarded with each other's empathy

Movie Idea Ms. Oedipus

Genre: Dramatic Comedy
Characters :
Robby Burns: 15 year old boy going through a messy divorce
Mr. Burns: 40 year old divorcee trying to be a parent and single again
Ms. Bancoft: 27 year old teacher who is the object of affection to both Robby and Mr. Burns
Dr. Sherman: child psychologist
Plot: A lonely teenage boy (Robby Burns) gets a crush on his supportive and friendly 9th grade English teacher (Ms. Bancoft). After he gets in trouble acting out in class due to bullying and because of his parents recent separation finalized in a divorce his father goes to have a parent teacher conference and Mr. Burns and Ms. Bancoft end up dating causing more rebeliion in ever increasingly reclusive disruptive Robby as he tries to sabotage his father's relationship with Ms. Bancoft so he could have her to himself.
Scene 1: Robby comes to school frustrated and picked on but finds support in Ms. Bancoft who encourages his writing
Scene 2: Coming home takes unusually solemn turn as his parents come back from marriage counselling with a disparing sense of something inevitably miserable.
Scene 3: Ms. Bancoft becomes more a maternal figure in Robby's life even learning what his interests in film, music and sports are
Scene 4: Divorce is finalized and he stays with his Dad as his emotionally detached mother runs off in search of freedom.
Scene 5: More bullying at school, more empathetic conversations between Ms. Bancoft and Robby of each one mutually opening up to the other more and more each time, including Ms. Bancoft's miseries in trying to find nice men who resembled bullies all grown up.
Scene 6: Fantasy dream sequence of Robby being Ms. Bancoft's knight in shining armor and her being the nurturing caregiver he needs. Imagines living in a nice apartment laying naked under the sheets talking romantically while watching their favorite romantic movie "Manhattan"
Scene 7: Fights between him and his Dad break out as his Dad is not accostumed to getting things prepared for Robby (like dinner, shopping etc)
Scene 8: Kids harass Robby in English class Ms. Bancoft tries to handle the kids but they don't relent until Robby fights back
Scene 9: Parent teacher conference ends unable to avoid 3 day suspension pushed by other kids parents
Scene 10: Apologies from Ms. Bancoft lead to a date with Mr. Burns
Scene 11: Ms. Bancoft accidently mentions the date to Robby and she notices Robby seems bothered
Scene 12: Robby comes home in a fighting mood with his Dad "if you had treated Mom better I would have to compete with you in the first place" gets him grounded
Scene 13: Tries to sabotage the date by stealing his Dad's credit card
Scene 14: The date goes on until Ms. Bancoft pays for the meal soon after realizing his credit card was missing.
Scene 15: Aggrevation goes on as he has no one to confine in, school becomes even more difficult and his grades drop
Scene 16: Another parent teacher conference leading to the next date as she gives Mr. Burns another try after he explains things
Scene 17: Robby maxes out his father's credit card online with internet pornography (memorizing his credit card #)
Scene 18: By the time the check comes after dinner his credit card is voided and Ms. Bancoft pays for the date again
Scene 19: Serious talk between Ms. Bancoft and Mr. Burns leading to the decision they shouldn't date because it's clearly affecting Robby's behavior too much.
Scene 20: Fight at home between Robby and his Dad
Scene 21: Robby asks Ms. Bancoft if he could stay with her as he and his dad are not on good terms, but Ms. Bancoft tries to politely decline
Scene 22: Mr. Burns gets Robby a counselor which his father hopes Robby will transfer his Oedipal crush on until he finds out Dr. Sherman is a guy
Scene 23: Mr. Burns talks with Dr. Sherman about his predicament with his son and Dr. Sherman suggests open family counselling which Mr. Burns begrudgingly accepts
Scene 24: At their first session Robby learns his dad's real motives on getting a psychologist. This intensifies the hostility.
Scene 25: Robby confines in Ms. Bancoft (who they are still on good if not weakened terms) what his father had done and she is upset.
Scene 26: The father apologizes for not being upfront and honest and trying sympathetically handling Robby's emotional drama
Scene 27: Robby and his father discuss which of them should more practically go after Ms. Bancoft. Father relents that in 3 years it wouldn't make a difference if Robby was dating her and even in college he could feasable afford marriage with his scholarship opportunities and part time jobs if Robby was willing to sacrifice.
Scene 28: Robby never gets the nerve to tell Ms. Bancoft he is willing to wait for her until he graduates and hear she is engaged to another man.
Scene 29: Mr. Burns consoles his son by taking him to dinner where he arranges a double date for him and his son to date Ms. Moore (35) and her daughter Liza (17)

Poetry Post 323

Regressed Goals
Ambitions long forgotten
Left on pages old and rotten
Goals saved for another season
Priorities without rhyme or reason
Simply following the roads straight ahead
Not for want or desire but as obligation led
Only to front a stonewall barrier
Finding in retreat regression even scarier
Regressing to the start to look again forward
To search and find again the goals I was working toward

Moss Of A Mountain's Stone
Living in the worse sense of being alone
Stuck like moss growing fat on a mountain's stone
Nowhere to go but down into the abyss
I can do nothing but just take living like this
But sometimes I can't even do that
Wondering how on Earth I got where I'm at
Hoping erosion doesn't cut off my life support
As the stones wears down slowly into dirt

Moral Equilibrium
Greater good, lesser evil
Battle of one's own free will
Blame it on nature or put it on nurture
The feeling so helpless is the greatest torture
Trying to find balance on an endless horizon
Never finding anything stable to lean on
Pride is a question of sin and virtue
Depending on someone else's point of view
Does the middle road lie on a paradox
And would someone please remove the road blocks

Poetry Post 322

Facebook Friends
Virtual relations are playing with my imagination
Your instant messages are instant gratification
It's like everything and still so much less
How much love is felt is merely a guess
Trying to read the lines between the emoticons acronyms
Measuring all the words by connotations and synonyms
We see each other online to chat
But what are we really getting at
Trying to analysis each one's point of view
Contemplating what next we should do
There's so much to try to comprehend
When you're looking for a lover in a friend

Parasite Lost
Your departure was my liberation
Because your company was degeneration
Killing my hopes until they were maggot rotten
But resurrected once thoughts of you are forgotten
No longer to fear your manipulation
Nor to fuel your ego with my exasperation
Now you're just another parasite without a host
And even if the pain lingers you're just a ghost
Untangible to my world free of your curse
I only pity who will be your next resource

Love's Word Puzzles
I want you to feel the love you make me feel
But I can't because it probably isn't real
It's hard to measure the extent of an intention
When cloaks of manners and filters are in the words mention
The difference of how the words are implied
Make the difference of how love is applied
So to play it safe I assume nothing more was meant
But what was safe about all the lonely days spent

Comic Book Idea

The Watchtower
In a fortified city of Zion 4 superheroes rule guarding it's city's 12 other initial citizens ever growing onward never dying or emigrating faster than the birthrate and immigration.
The city of Zion is surrounded by a desert but behind the city walls lies a great oasis in the center of the city.
The four rulers
Dynamos (the bull) holds Power of power (dynamic force) ready to exort strength in protecting Zion
Endikon (the lion) holds Power of justice recognizing order angered over injustice against the natural order
Sophia (the eagle) holds Power of wisdom having selective foresight and strength of analysis finding prudent middleground
Agape (the Perfect Man) holds Power of love having principled respect for all life and deep empathy espescially toward the afflicted
Agape usually conflicts with Endikon over penalties
Dynamos usually resolves siding with Agape
Sophia often alligns with Endikon but can be a voice of reason mediating between the 3 others
Endikon and Dynamos hold more proactive personalities leading to the desire for action
Agape and Sophia hold more passive qualities investigating matters dealt with

Poetry Post 321

Aspergers Is Not A Syndrome
Sickness is not an emotion
Passion is just another word for devotion
The want of order and control
Is in every human soul
When sincerity seems like a delusion
What else is left but anxiety and confusion
But this does not make one sick, impaired or dumb
Asperger's is not a syndrome
A different social perspective
Does not make one socially defective
Different skills simply make a different tool
As long as I am able I know am not a fool

Still Hurting II
Depressed, disstressed looking at your picture
Pining, knowing there's no fantasy anymore
But what else is there to do
The self prophesy came true
The same situation produces nothing new
Why did I hope for something different in you
Expecting something in you to come through
You are a great friend but we couldn't stand a chance
Our love is strong but with emotional distance
We could never be lovers we could hardly stay friends
But the finalization is something my heart never comprehends

Soul Mate Searching
Preoccupied and lonely
Looking for my first, my best, my only
How can I get through the lonesome night
If I can't recognize the one who's right
How could I be whole and master my own fate
If I search without recognition of my own mate
Who is she? Where shall she be? How would she know me?
There's too many variables in this mystery
Perhaps true love is not ansolute
But I can't settle for a substitute

Poetry Post 320

Promiscuous Words
I saved my flesh but am no virgin of word
Professing love to so many too many heard
Now I have nothing left to be sworn
My confessed love has worn and torn
But I never want to give up on true romance
Lending word, deed and heart is my only chance
So I will always give it another try
I may often be wrong but I never lie
So trust these words as true and sincere
Your love and friendship are what I hold dear
And if mutual feelings were just made clear
My battered used heart would never again fear

Searching For Sanity
I look for knowledge and find only confusion
And facts discovered by minds of delusion
With their wisdom built by illusion
Logic being only a mirage
Self defense turns to self sabotage
And we become our own barage
O sanity the sweet idealized angelic lover
The mysteries of your comfort to uncover
Only in finding you can we ourselves discover

Bittersweet Memories
What happened to the promises to stick together
Love taught me friends are forever
But experience taught me better
Everything I can't forget
Is merely another regret
I wonder if you're as upset
That we are told to take growing changes passively
To pack all childhood feelings into a buried memory
But nostalgic songs and games keep the memory coming back to me

Poetry Post 319

Serenity
In peaceful serenity
Cut off from the bonds of society
Alone no pain can reach me
Guarded from bitter emnity
Void of others avoing stress
No problems I have to address
In solitude I can decompress
Enjoying the moment feeling bless

The High
Surrogate affection or just effective distraction
Something about addiction has a powerful attraction
Something warm, both familiar and strange
Another dimension, an open range
You're at home and somewhere else
You're someone new but still yourself
Whether fulfilled or empty
There's no more inner void to see
No longer insecure or withdrawn
Self-intimidation is momentarily gone
This is how I was socially meant to be
To be in one's own element absolutely free

Cage Of Apathy
Trapped in a cage of apathy
Powerless to the world beyond me
Crutching to meaningless aids to cope
How can I preach a message of hope
Maybe I could help others
If I knew who were my brothers
Or if I just had the means to assist
But my weaknesses persist
And self doubt makes me a pillar of miserly apathy
With no one to care for or look after me

Poetry Post 318

Freeness Of Speech
Where there is love there is freeness of speech
This is the fondest goal I have to reach
And with you this goal is attained
For I have no need for my thoughts to be retained
With you acceptance and trust by choice words aren't bought
You look at the feelings of the heart to see the intent of the thought
You know my transparency is not a trick to deceive
And you know not to hurt a heart so naive

Perfect Paradox
A love so pure and unrestrained
A perfect paradox unexplained
Mutual satisfaction of each other's affection
Our love grows by the sight of it's own reflection
It is an invigorating drug that calms and sedates
Securely in our embrace in both excited and restful states

The End Of Harmony
I believe it was 1970
When someone last heard the harmony
Has it been that long since
I heard two Rocks sing of Silence
I wonder back to Clarksville and Pleasant Valley
Finding only Lonely Hearts and bitter irony
And then I see the image of Mother Mary
Crying Let It Be Let It Be
As the Magic Dragon sleeps forever more
Never returning to play on the sunny shore
Glory was just a fiery phase
And the smoke cleared to a Purple Haze
Give Another Piece Of Your Heart and There's Nothing Left To Lose
So you get freedom to do anything but choose
Just relive the glories of seasons past
As you wonder how long the feeling's going to last

A Scottish Boy's Adventures

A Docu Film On Forgotten Scottish Writers And Their Contribution Literature For Boys Becoming Men
1) Scottish Mannliness
2) Scottish Life
3) Tales Of Morality And Adventure
4) Robert Burns - Poems Of Manly Romance And Sentiment
5) Walter Scott- Guardian Of Forgotten Chivalry
6) Robert Louis Stevenson- The Traveling Life Behind Dr. Jekyll And Long John Silver
7) Arthur Conan Doyle- Sherlock's Creator And His Search For Logic In the Here And Beyond
8) J. M. Barrie- The Real Peter Pan's Fantasies Of Childhood Relived
9) Kenneth Grahame- Romance For The Benign Country Idyllic Life
10) The Generations Of Influence On The Media Enjoyed By Boys and The Forgotten Volumes Less Read
(I need to resource more as I have only read Burns & Stevenson)

Alcohol Tobacco Firearms & Death

Personal Areas Of Interest to Make A DocFilm On
1) Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms & Death
Looking at the statistics that show the mortality of the three deadly substances that we still take for granted their dangers leading to half a million deaths a year, it's toll economically on healthcare and why government won't regulate them the way they monitor communications, marijuana and gambling.
Scene One: The Anti Smoking League In The Context of Child Advertising
Scene Two: Groups Targeted By Magazines Aimed at Teens, Women, Minorities-"Coolness Effect"
Scene Three: Being aware of the tobacco myths and true side affects
Scene Four: Tobacco Ingredients and Additives
Scene Five: The marijuana comparasion
Scene Six: The cancerous life
Scene Seven: Alcohol The Psychological Need The Chemical Want Of Alcohol
Scene Eight: Alcohol the Psychological Effect The Chemical Enslavement Of Alcohol
Scene Nine: Socially And Physically Benefitial Drinking (The bottle of wine a day concept)
Scene Ten: The Thin Line Into Danger
Scene Eleven: The Morning After, Marriage And Car Wrecks
Scene Twelve: Alcohol Vs Other Coping Mechanisms and Their Respective Dangers
Scene Thirteen: Guns Vs Security Systems
Scene Fourteen: Danger One Impulsive Suicide
Scene Fifteen: Danger Two Impulsive Homicide
Scene Sixteen: Impulsive Crime
Scene Seventeen: Wreckless Accidents
Scene Eighteen: Gun Regulation Will Arrest Gun Owners Before they Become Killers

New Novella (Arnold & Emily)

Looking at an old USB I found a story I was working on a couple years ago so I will be working on it to finish it up and publish it on my blog. The chapters are named after Syd Barrettt/Pink Floyd songs and it's about a 14 year old Aspie and the girl he likes.

Poetry Post 317

Eternal Battle Of Sin
Every moment you don't give in
Is another victory over sin
But when does the battle finally end
It's useless to try to comprehend
The battle can end whenever you chose
So long as you don't mind being the one to lose
Can there be a complete victory
Unless we're temptation free
And how can you win over temptation
Its contemplation versus sensation
But the heart is prone to treason
As our mind tries to reason
That every sin is its own situation
But try to avoid a biased evaluation
If its too strong or light
You'll never get the balance right

Making A Point Against Contrary People
Everytime I speak two stand against me
Everytime I say my peace they won't let it be
Like facing a wall casting stones
Never breaking through anything but broken bones
The more I defend the greater the offense
Impenatrable they mock me at my own expense
The more I try to breakthrough
The less they have to do
Weakened by ricocheted shots
Welting up the sore spots
I know I can't fight anymore
But the more I know what I'm fighting for

Lonely Family
All day I sit at home alone but not lonely
Until my family is present to ignore me
Half distracted by their choice of recreation
The other half from self imposed isolation
Not that this is a serious problem
There's nothing I feel free to talk about with them
And if they can't accept my beliefs and who I am
Then I suppose I have no reason to give a damn

Short Story "Illegal Favors"

Two years of unemployment benefits are about to run up, not that they saved me from losing my house. I still had to sell it and move back in with my mom. At least she wouldn't be alone she said, but my company couldn't keep my girlfriend and I together. Once I was put on anti-depressants after the job loss she couldn't handle the baggage she said. Very considerate now how was I going to find someone who could handle that baggage she just added to me. The more you need someone the less anymore seems to want you, so f*cking much for tribal evolution or the Florence Nightingale effect. It took me ten years to find her, not that she was my first pick. In high school I had a best friend I loved but she, Alison Dunmor couldn't see us as anything more than friends. In college Gabrielle Hayes explained that we, too, were just in the 'friend zone' what a great excuse for not being lovers "oh I care for you too much in a Platonic sense Tom to really have romantic caring feelings for you." When I first worked at the local convenience store on Green Street I befriended a sales clerk with the nickname Pink. I never tried to validate the feelings I had for her because my confidence was broken. It was at my next job across the street at the video rental store that I met the shiprat Teri Wells and it was from that place I lost my job. I lost both jobs, because of the local economy was down. Clarksville was a run of the mill dead end mid-West town with no economic plan applicable to post-Industrial Revolution. We still have a hardware shop, a train station and two gas stations. One gas station is run by a middle Eastern immigrant named Ahmed who is very polite but off putting that is to say he doesn't do small town chit chat. The other gas station is ran by a very friendly drunk who blames bad business on supposedly illegal immigrants and not his overbearing casual Christian talks over overpriced gas. The train station is all but out of business and is simply a tourist attraction to people who want to see an old time relic. The fifties diner next to the station closed about the time my Dad died which was insult to injury as we used to go there and order Love Me Chicken Tenders and Bogart Burgers, but that was back in college and as I am running out of time I'll just stick to current events. Teri Wells is getting married to a guy whose philosophy could make Machiavelli look like a philanthropist. But security was all she wished for and never asked how. Far worse my Mom is dying of cancer, the cancer my father's smoking habit gave her. i cannot explain in simple terms the monstrously conflicted views I have on my parents especially my Dad. He taught me how to be a man usually by example and usually in the Goofus not Gallant sense to use an old Highlights reference. When I was young I always looked forward to Highlights, Reader's Digest, the newspaper puzzle section and the TV Guide. Pardon my diversions but its pleasant to relive some nice memories from the past. But I suppose its too late to look on the bright side although one bright side is I might not have cancer and never will know if I do. It's nice having the house to myself while my Mom's at the doctor, I couldn't bring my ladyfriend here if she hadn't gone and if she didn't go I wouldn't need my ladyfriend over in the first place. She is deliberately left anonymous for her own protection, she only came over as a business favor. It is her hand that handcuffed me, tightened the noose and wrote this note I'm dictating. The noose is not fully tightened yet but it was until one of us thought to clarify matters for the police who will naturally come and question this strange suicide, one that is strange as it can not be easily done alone but aside from this business venture I am alone. Anything missing here in the basement was used as her payment I trust her to use it to get out of this town and a career and a family because we're running very low on them here in Clarksville.

No Offense Taken- Placebo

Announcer: Sick and tires of being a fat obese pig of a woman? Well then get Placebo the miracle diet pill that will help you get shallow men who'll meet your shallow standards to chose, use and abuse you, making you go on an eating binge and go bulimic.

No Offense Taken- Rev. Goldengraham

Rev. Goldengraham: Hello and welcome to the only show that will save your soul. I'm Rev. Goldengraham, but this show's not about me or my Rolex, Mercedes Benz, or Palm Springs mansion but Jesus. You must remember Jeses the Son Of God but God's not important. Back to Jesus. Some of you may be saying "Rev Goldengraham how can I have the power to talk with Jesus?" Well you've got to git de spirit y'all. And you can get it when you call now and give a voluntarily donation of $45.95 plus sal- donataion tax. Yeah there's a tax on donations, well that's Government for ya. Speaking of government here's something for you little kids...Jesus said we must all be like children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven in the sense that we ought to be gullible babes being told what to believe. I'm drifting, back to the product it's the Super-All-American-Patriotic-Product-Placement-Jesus.
Announcer: The likeness of The Super-All-American-Patriotic-Product-Placement Jesus is a registered trademark of the Goldengraham Foundation in conjuction with Golden Calf Toys.
Rev. Goldengraham: Now some of you may be thinking what right does a man who takes sponsership from the Aryan Nation to preach the name of the Lord? Well this toy is proof of my right. I'm doing the Lord's work of preaching his name and his image. By preaching his name and image I mean selling it out like a Hollywood PA exec. To dispose of the rumor of my raging bigotry this toy is proof it's false because it was made by 300 Mexicans in a nice midsize SUV in the warm sunny Death Valley they like the warmth it's their natural habitat. And if that doesn't prove I'm not a bigot what about that hooker out on Sunset...I was converting. So for all your salvation needs call JOHN-216, I'm sorry I mean JOHN-316, there's no JOHN-216. Call now or pretty much anytime and you'll get a pamplet about my presidential campaign on the Reform ticket.

No Offense Taken- The Slim Machine

(Informercial setting)
Announcer: Hello all you insomniac, compulsive, mathematically challenged viewers. Now from Quantam Products is The Slim Machine Deluxe. This item sets you body in repetitive motion so it will really be a workout for your legs, arms and joints. Yes this will give you body cramps in 10 minutes and that is a good sign of a good machine. Remember no pain no gain. But don't just take my word for it. Ask some of our pleased customers.
Buyer: I loved. I lost 50 lbs. Now my body is like a teenager's again (faint)
Product Warner: Warning this product can cause serious spinal and joint damage, fainting, shakiness and serious weight loss!
Announcer: You hear that? You'll have serious weight loss if you get this product. So tubby dial 1-800-BUY-THIS, that is if your fingers aren't too fat to dial. remember if you don't get this product no one will be your friend. After all who will be friends with a fatty? It is all about image, you have no personality you ball of lard and satuated fat. Just call our number 1-800-BUY-THIS because we don't just sell products we also sell the self-esteem we took from you.