No Offense Taken "The Meaning of Life"

(professor talking to camera in a library background)
Professor Gumby: Hello I'm Prof. Gumby philosophy professor from Oxford University and I am here to discuss something we at Oxford University have been studying since the foundation of our university in the thirteenth century. It is a subject of philosophy much debated and discussed throughout the history of civilized man. It is the fundamental question of our own existence. It is something that has eluded scientists, theologians and other great guess workers for hundreds of years, until now. What is the meaning of life? Here at Oxford University we have finally found the definitive answer. It was found in a place we almost never looked. And yet it was so obvious. Millions of people in mankind's long history could have found it in their personal library of books, but most have not since it is while being one the most popular books also one of the longest. So despite the millions of people owning the book very few ever read it, at least not with any real focus but here it is (holding a book on a pulpit) the meaning of life on page 672 "the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body" as quoted in the Holy Dictionary. It was rather anti-climatic for us too

A matter of discretion

I would just like to point out I've been writing poetry since August 16, 1998 so I was fourteen when I started and all the poems I've written since that first one "Trapped Childhood" is or will be typed into my blog so a lot of the experiences I've wrote about have come from parts of my life that are less prevalent to who I am now. But everything I write about deals with something fundamentally sincere about me, but the relative truth of the material changed over time. Puberty is a main theme that I deal with somewhat bluntly and being twenty-five there is still truth in what I wrote but hopefully I continue to mature and maybe get a better handle of my social/emotional/spiritual/physical/sexual life but luckily I've never been too ashamed of myself as to look back at my life with serious regrets and yet I'm still significantly better than I once was in some ways other ways are worse to some degree to be frank but nothing outside the typical range of my expectable behavior nothing shocking to any one who would have known me in any other type of context, so I will continue type poems about my puberty with only slight reluctance

Part 21 Poetry

To Brittany Gray IV

Brittany maybe if you stayed for awhile
I might smile
A little more often
Maybe from the sheer bliss
Of your tender kiss
My pain might soften
All that is for sure
Everytime I see you love me more
I find myself happier.

To Brittany Gray V

I love you too much to let you go away
I love you too much to make you stay
I can't let go of the one who let me want to see another day
I can't let the reason of my life fade away
And I can't treat my savior like a slave
Being the one that saved me from my grave
It isn't my right to take after all you gave
It was by your means I was saved

Problems
You can only stop a tree from growing by tearing it's roots
Not by cursing it's blooming fruits
You can chop a tree down everyday
It will still grow back anyway
The roots are still nurtured by the dirt
Chopping off the branches will not kill only hurt
It is the rain of oppression and dirt of monotony
That brings the evil into the tree
To stop anything else is just hurting me

Man's Best Friends- Scene XI

(at Brian's apartment by the computer with David in his cage sleeping with Brian typing)
Brian (man): Hey (looking up at David) Why don't you exercise? It will help with your depression.
David (hamster): Not with my heart problems.
Brian: What heart problems?
David: Paranoia destroys your heart, the anxiety does hell to your arteries and valves.
Brian: Who says?
David: The Internet Doctor says
Brian: You get on the Internet?
David: Yes
Brian: You know my password?
David: Brian26
Brian: Yes well that explains why there are all those rodent webpages on my Internet history. I was getting worried about that. (Mike walks in)
Mike (dog): Now I remember where I heard the name Bettie before, wasn't that the name of that crazy rabbit you once owned? You know the one with anger management problems.
David: I don't remember him.
Mike: It was before you were here. As a matter of fact I think there's some reason why I'm (embarrassed) not suppose to bring him up in front of you.
David: I'm a replacement for some stupid rapid rabbit?
Mike: Oh no that's not why we're not suppose to mention it, you were the replacement to Terry the fish who replaced the rabbit anyway, it's because Brian asked Tommy to kill it.
David: (squeaking in horror) You let Tommy kill a pet! You kept this a secret! How long before you gonna let him eat me?
Mike: Hopefully not long if you keep squeaking like that.
Brian: I had Tommy kill Bettie because he was attacking all the people and animals that came into the apartment.
David: It was a rabbit how violent could it be?
Brian: It was a vicious rabbit, you should have seen the scars he left on the Jehovah's Witnesses that came around here, you can't most of them won't come back and the neighbors decided to give my rabbit a medal then he attacked the neighbors and they moved.
Mike: That poor nine year old Laotian girl had to get a skin transplant now she's part African-American
Thomas (cat): (walking in) Don't you mean part black, she didn't change her heritage. (phone rings Brian gets up to answer it)
Brian: Hello...Oh hi Elizabeth how are you?...Well that's great...Sure I'll come over...alone... sure...okay goodbye. (hangs up) Okay Mike watch out for David and make sure he doesn't get killed or commit suicide (leaves apartment and re-enters) I forgot my shoes (takes shoes and leaves)

20th Set of Poetry

Surrogate Connection
Literature, music, film and tv have been given to me
So that I may always have good company
A surrogate connection
To fill human affection
So I hope to create
So I may reciprocate
To the next generation
To love through my creation

Hollywood Crush
I am hurting from a mighty crush
Longing for your ever absent touch
No one understands why I need you so much
A crush is more powerful than love cause there is nothing I do
We never encountered but I feel like I love you
I know so much about you it feels so true
I know this pseudo-love is nothing more than lust
But you seem like someone I can trust
I don't know if loving or leaving is a must

Pictures
Pictures can't hug me
Can't offer me security
Pictures have no communication
They have no appreciation
They can't give, take, share
They can't love or care
But they can't scream or fight
That's why I go to them at night
They may not be able to care
But if you want to they're always there
They can't appreciate, but nor can they hate
So that's why I masturbate