Absolute Desparity

I am having a rough time with my depression. This is why I have delayed posting any of my work on my blog. I'm feeling very down. I am even aware that no one will probably read this blog anyway. I can't afford to be in the Writer's Guild of America and even if I did no one would read my scripts if I even get around to completing a script in the first place. My poems could be song lyrics if I could compose or collaborate, but I can't do either. So if any reads this blog and follows up reading any of my other works and would want to send any words of encouragement please email me at johnahabig@yahoo.com

Poetry Post 186

Natural Extreme
Every joy has its price
Refreshing water turning into ice
A passive breeze turning into a storm
The coexisting extremes are simply the norm
We must take the better and the worse
And not carry it like a curse

Fragile Heart
Take my fragile heart with care
Please know I count on you being there
Keeping it to myself is too hard a burden
But I need to leave it where it won't be broken

Never Becoming More Than Friends
How come you don't trust in me?
I've never compromised your integrity
You know I have no joy in exploiting you
So what is it you fear I might do?
You were okay when you thought I only loved you as a friend
So why do these feelings put our relationship to an end?
I'm not asking for physical obligation
Just the potential of emotional recepitation

Poetry Post 185

Masturbation
There is nothing more liberating nor pathetic as masturbation
Letting off without censure or compromise of collaboration
To be in control self-sufficient expressing sexual exhilaration
A never dulling thrill of ecstasy to ease the tension is a never failing expectation
With no fear no anxiety no pain no strife from social anticipations
To have joy without reciprocation
To experience lonely elation
To achieve without a congratulation
To have no receiver to intimate communication
To have a fleeting solo joy is far too short of emotional perfection

Compensation
Never had a feeling of self worth
Compensate with exterior pride
Always expressed every emotion
Compensate by being dead inside
Never felt accepted by the crowd
Compensate by being a non-conformist loner
Never felt any achievement
Compensate by being a stoner
The world never found peace
They compensate with conquest
The world never saw equality
They compensate by competing for the best
The world never found security
They compensate with possession
The world can't understand each other
They compensate with self obsession

Ebony VIII
I wait forever for you to call
Motionless wondering if you ever liked me at all
Living loneliness
Never felt worse than this
Your intangible love is my everything
But it feels like unattainable love when I don't hear the phone ring
I don't want to put you under pressure
But your presence is my only treasure
There's a lot of instant gratification at my dispense
But I'd rather sit in awe of your presence
Last week I called asking for you to phone
But you left me sitting all alone
Doing nothing all day and all week but waiting
I want to call you again but stubborn pride keeps me hesitating
Knowing if you love me you'd call back
But my fingers dial the phone as my pride starts to crack
One of us is always here but can never make it over there
Always accusing assuming the other one doesn't care
But if I had infinite power to do anything I wanted to do
I'd find some way or anything to stop missing you

Poetry Post 184

Living Death
Something in me is slowing dying
Something is killing my heart
In ignorance I start crying
As my world falls apart
I got nowhere to go
I don't fit the cliques of the establishment
I have knowledge that won't show
It takes no form of an accomplishment
I can't move from where I lie
I don't want to live and I don't want to die
So I just waste my idle time by
As nothing gets done and everyone's wondering why

Marketplace Congregations
Congregation purity will be loss
If we give in to a trade guild cross
If we give into idolatry
We commit spiritual adultery
The House of God is not a marketplace (John 2:16)
You can't buy your way to Jehovah's Grace
If a religion starts to sell out
Then it's time to get the hell out

Losing Guilt
I'm sick of pretending that I give a damn
I can't be any better than I already am
Everything is always the same
I've had my share of shame
If I cannot live up to the measure
Then I'll seize the day for my own pleasure

TV's Greatest Nerds

Wilson Wilson "Home Improvement" Master of Anthropology
Steven Q. Urkel "Family Matters" Master of Chemistry
The Professor "Gilligan's Island" Master of Mechanics
Spencer Reid "Criminal Minds" Master of Criminology
Sheldon Cooper "The Big Bang Theory" Master of Physics
Spock "Star Trek" Master of Everything
Lisa Simpson "The Simpsons" Master of Sociology
Daria Morgendorf "Daria" Master of Human Behavior
The Game Show Masters
Alex Trebek "Jeopardy"
Ben Stein "Win Ben Stein's Money" Kudos on Expelled Kudos Indeed
The Judas Iscariot Award (Betrayer of the Culture)
For his vast career of post fame douchebaggery

Uncle Tom Award (Worst 2 dimensional re-enforcer of negative stereotypes)