Ersatz Interface

Bettie Kaczynski:
I got friends on Facebook I got friends on Myspace
If only the real world wasn't such a lonely place
It's basically masturbating with this ersatz interface
How can you say you're really meeting someone
I'm chatting with eleanorrigby81
She won't even know me when we're done

Poetry Post 232

Only Chance
I'm going to live my own life since I must die my own death
Because there is no more freedom after your last breathe
I can't live under constant scrutiny
Because now is the only chance for me

Living
I don't want to worry my life away
Worrying if I see another day
I want to live every moment
Like it was hellbent

The Suicide Note
What a dark life I live
With nothing left to give
There is no reason why
I shouldn't just die

Mrs Abbott

Bettie Kaczynski:
Mrs Abbott is my only friend
She's the only one I can comprehend
With compliments and faith she makes my confidence mend
If Only I could be with her during the better part of the day
To see her in some other context some other way
But if I can see her at school then there I'll stay
But on my computer I'll look for girls like her
Thirty with freckles, glasses and dark curly hair should be easy to search for
Something of a geek fetish and the good girl next door

Poetry Post 231

The Note
One gloomy day I found a note addressed to me
I read the inside of a note
It said it was written by a girl name Mary
The note said that she loved me so and that I quote
I lived each day willingly with a smile in my heart
I got a note each day reassuring her love to me
I had everything planned from the start
I wished for the day I could be with her eternally
But then one day I got a note that I could not take
Written in the same handwriting signed Jane
Saying she wrote them all and the love I felt was fake
The news made me go insane
Now my life must go on
With this pain within me
But after dusk there can be dawn
Will I free this pain burning relentlessly

On The Rebound
There's a girl I found
While on the rebound
Who is a true friend
Right to the end
One who will spend her hours with me
We fit like a lock and key
But could this be just another illusion
Or a permanent solution

Dependable Love
Darling stay near me
I need you so dearly
How can you not tell clearly
I feel lost in space
And nothing is in place
Without your secure embrace
I need you like air
And like a friend you're always there
I hope you know much I care
For I'll always be there for you
Doing whatever you ask me to do
To let you know my appreciation's true

Second Return

Bettie Kaczynski:
Returning to the seventh grade
To face all the enemies I've made
If I understood why I wouldn't be so afraid
I think its very clear
That I don't belong here
And they can tell by my fear
To pass the day along
I'll escape in a song
Till I'm back where I belong

PP 230

Not Alive
Every night I stay up to five
Can't get to sleep till I know I'm alive
Blasting noise, blaring lights
Taking risks get into fights
Feel the pain
But no senses reach the brain
Until peace and quiet come in
Then I feel my life again

Drinking The Night Away
Alone in my room drinking the night away
Trapped in a hole never seeing the light of day
Addiction certainly has a strong grip
And it all started with a little sip
What can you do when your life slipped away
Death is just one sip away
My life is a pile of crap
I can't get out of the trap
I'll just have one more drink
Then I'll stop, I believe I can I think
This is my last try
Or I know I'll die

My Dark Shadow
There's a dark shadow over my soul
And each day it spins out of control
Depression settles upon me
And it grows so quickly
Haunting me like an illness
As my body lies in stillness
attacked by demons each day
Attacked each day in a worse way

Surrogate Connection

Bettie Kaczynski:
Is it wrong or is it alright
To fantasize through the lonely night?
Libido and conscience in a constant fight
All over a simple website
Should I waste my restraining might
To banish another delight?
But I know if my mom walked through the door
She'd say this isn't what my body was meant for
But then what is this desire calling from my core?
Why can't this be a means to an end
At least until I get a girlfriend?
If the model's willing then who do I offend?
If this falls short of perfection
It's beyond my capabilities of correction
Because real or surrogate this is my only connection

PP 229

Lover's Trust
Lovers are so hard to trust
One or the other is often driven by lust
It's so hard to let your layers peel
When you're trying to find out what's real
There is no way to find clarity
When you're second guessing sincerity
Living on the edge it's hard to find your center
Particularly when you have a lover that's not a mentor
I can't meditate, reflect or focus
When every second I have to worry about us

Alone
Alone, sitting by the twilight fire
Without the one I truly desire
Alone without your love or compassion
Nothing to settle my burning passion
Without your love I couldn't exist
Thoughts of you make me persist
Can't you see I love you dearly
I can only live if you, too, love me

Self-Mentor
Please guide me away from sin and don't tell me you told me so
I don't need to be told things I already know
Just walk me away from sin and let me go
Even if I'm sinfully prone
I'm better off alone
My life is my own
I've learned my lesson before
So I'll endure
Even if I must learn it once more

Technology

Bettie Kaczynski:
Sitting alone in my bedroom watching tv
I see a world as I want it to be
I live in freedom by proxy
Thank God for technology
With my music louder than my doubt I can be free
Remote I'm in control of everything I see

PP 228

Passive Rage
Passive rage burns in my veins
Because people are dismissive of my pains
I'm kicked around forbidden to kick back
A quick defense only means a second attack
Why should anybody ever expect anything from me
When my life is always on their clock at what time am I free
I never feel at ease only agitation
Because social leisure carries a high expectation
so just kill me and lay my body in peace
Only then my raging pain be ceased

My Flower
You are not a weak wilting dainty daisy
You are not a small quaint pansy
You are a strong-stemmed sunflower fully grown
Facing ever toward the sun on your own

Absent Love (Haiku)
Where is the reason
What good can love ever do
If I don't have you

Expelled

Mrs Kaczynski:
It's not fair that it's you they expel
Bettie Kaczynski:
Well at least I'm outta that hell
Mrs Kaczynski:
Don't say such words little angel
Bettie Kaczynski:
At least I have a tv, a computer and a stereo
I can still keep my grades up to passing you know
Mrs Kaczynski:
But you don't want your grade point to get low
Bettie Kaczynski:
What's the point I don't care
It's not like any good will come to me from there
Narrator:
So he retired to his room with only technology and despair

Poetry Post 227

Emotional Option
For awhile my feelings have been a haze
I wish I could fade out through this phase
My life is in a foggy daze
My head's in the clouds with my heart's in the ground
Apathy, hatred, pain, numbness is all around
Covered by the walls they make I cannot be found

Suburban Life
Living in an Ohio suburban town
Waiting for the entertainment to come around
A seventy-five channel tv
With still nothing to get me happy
A radio is starting to play a happy song
But then is soon gone being only four minutes long
So I roam across town finding nothing but homes with "no trespassing" signs
Until I see a hang out just out of reach across the town border lines
So I go home to the radio and tv
And watch as time goes on and keeps passing by me

Broken Hearts
I was born to this world as a broken heart
I'd pick up the pieces but don't know where to start
I try to find love and do my part
But nothing is ever enough for a broken heart

Another Retaliation

Fred:
I heard you told on us to Mr Mason
Meet us after school and we'll bash your face in
Think you're tough Bettie name a time and place then
Bettie Kaczynski:
I'm late for Mrs Abbott's class
And I don't have a hall pass
Fred:
Why do you always kiss her ass
You seem to be her little bitch
Is that why you decided to snitch
Narrator:
And Fred pulled up his arm just to see Bettie flinch
But Mrs Abbott caught him and said
Mrs Abbott:
That's enough of terrorizing him Fred
I caught you plain and simple with your hands red
Fred:
What are they going to do to me whore
They've done nothing and everything before
Narrator:
Then Bettie punched Fred knock down to the floor

Poetry Post 226

World Tumult
It's hard to find your inner peace
When the world's anger and anxiety won't cease
Pressuring people make the world too uptight to ease
The depress cave in as the angry bullies do as they please
In a world of tumult how do we hold our own
Where hospitality was hostility is now shown
Neighborly love weeded out hometown hatred now grown
The name of God forgotten but Satan's still is known

Judicial Racism
There is something not fair
When a black man gets the chair
But if a cop shoots a "suspect" he gets a month off with pay
Take a look at these scenarios and see what they say
Baily, Cowens, Swilley, Pell, Cooke and Townley got forty-five years collectively
But Rubin Carter got and served seventeen years without being guilty
Many innocent men taking years of persecution
While Beckworth, Forrest and Dynamite Joe spent years free from prosecution

Another Day Of Work
Another cry to call
More work to befall
Never getting a moment's break
As my body starts to ache
But there will be a reward expected
And I'll be appreciated and respected
And a work awarded by a smile
Makes the work worthwhile