(Informercial setting)
Announcer: Hello all you insomniac, compulsive, mathematically challenged viewers. Now from Quantam Products is The Slim Machine Deluxe. This item sets you body in repetitive motion so it will really be a workout for your legs, arms and joints. Yes this will give you body cramps in 10 minutes and that is a good sign of a good machine. Remember no pain no gain. But don't just take my word for it. Ask some of our pleased customers.
Buyer: I loved. I lost 50 lbs. Now my body is like a teenager's again (faint)
Product Warner: Warning this product can cause serious spinal and joint damage, fainting, shakiness and serious weight loss!
Announcer: You hear that? You'll have serious weight loss if you get this product. So tubby dial 1-800-BUY-THIS, that is if your fingers aren't too fat to dial. remember if you don't get this product no one will be your friend. After all who will be friends with a fatty? It is all about image, you have no personality you ball of lard and satuated fat. Just call our number 1-800-BUY-THIS because we don't just sell products we also sell the self-esteem we took from you.
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