Man's Best Friends Scene V

(Brian on bed alone with his laptop)
Brian: (typing inner monologue) In today's world of less talk save time more action get yours and get going civilians need their accessories, possessions and clothes to do the quick talking for them and varying from culture to culture certain visible attributes communicate many different things. One way of cultural speech is the pets we own. Cats, dogs and birds are the most common pets and we have particular character types drawn on each type of pet owner. If you own a hamster it says that you are either eight years old or else very strange. If you own a cat you are feminine and proper or somewhat passively affectionate and laid back. If you own a bird you typically are a pining distant person who prefers affection through barriers and the same goes for fish owners who also want control over their objects of affection rather than actual affection. But dog owners not through popularity but though massive media images nailed into the cognitive minds of people our views on dogs and therefore dog owners varies breed to breed. The larger the dog the tougher the dog owner hence most women if they choose dogs they pick small dogs to show daintiness and frailness. You likewise won't see many men with Chihuahuas or poodles unless they don't mind the same mental image imposed upon the dog. Pitbulls and Rottweilers show toughness or a territorial nature and the owners are usually typecasting themselves as bad boys. Anyone who loves a mutt shows love as a priority over status quo and will win the affection of women who are insecure of themselves but still respect themselves too much to date a bad boy. Dogs are more popular for the diverse personal traits each breed portrays whereas cats, birds and fish show more vague images of personality. Vague is hard to stereotype so we choose dogs emphasize the role we choose to play in society and advertise ourselves to perspective partners. (spoken) Now I'll just email this to that magazine editor who publishes my relationship papers. And I'm done (gets up and leaves)