No Offense Taken "Government Education Film On Drugs"

(Black and white film screen with an action hero addressing the audience)
Dr. Dooright: Hello I'm superhero Dr. Door-right Doo-right. Start again. (walks off reenters) Hey kids I'm superhero Dr. Doo-Right and I'm here to tell you how to do right by me. Today, in our first of a long series of adolescent education features we'll be addressing drugs. Some drugs are bad and some drugs are good, but unlike people you cannot tell the difference simply by looking at them. No it's more complicated than that. You have to look at how the drug is packaged. If it's in a bottle like (shows products) Prozac, Aleve or horse tranquilizers you know it's safe. Now here is where it gets difficult, if it is a rolled cylinder substance like (shows products) tobacco or marijuana you have to distinguish it by the odor it puts out. If it's herbal it's dangerous and should never be used, but if it's nicotine with a hint of arsenic, ammonia, cyanide, carbon monoxide and or menthol you know it is completely safe. The simplest method is if you find it in your local pharmacy it's safe, that includes everything: the crayons, the glue, the aerosol spray cans and the paint.If it's not report to us any fatalities and start a petition for a congressional bill to put a label on the product in question, that is if you can successfully sue the company that made and distributed the product in question. So that's all and until next time watch out.