Movie Idea- The Sacred Satire Part I The Old Testament

Sketch Comedy
Skit 1) Voice of Narrator vs Voice of God narrating the Creation with audience voice asking what they meant by day, Narrator says Day means a literal Day Jehovah calls Narrator an idiot it wasn't literal how can you create something in a day when there is no measurement of a day in pre-existence
Skit 2) Adam created in God's image and Adam asks God what his penis is for and God has an awkward talk with Adam making God realize he needs to create a woman
Skit 3) Eve and Adam have met but Eve doesn't want to be tied down and wants to see what else is out there and Adam tries to find a common interest and they get expelled for eating the fruit.
Skit 4) Satan tempting the angels of God to follow him by offering them this new concept of becoming a human and having sex. Angels wonder if sex is all it seems to be and they become the Nephilem
Skit 5) Noah and Jehovah debate whether one can fit all the animals in a 450,000 cube cubit ark and how they will eat. Jehovah lays out the floor plan and assures all the animals will fit and behave and eat and survive on a minimal diet
Skit 6) Nimrod starts building the Tower of Babel but God intervenes by setting petty disputes of tribal characteristics (stereotypes) and they split into different languages
Skit 7) Jehovah acts as a real estate agent giving Abraham a great deal on the land of Canaan minimizing the hostility of the neighbors
Skit 8) Abraham lead Isaac to be sacrificed and when Isaac asks why he must be sacrificed Abraham says he didn't think to ask because it didn't seem proper then Jehovah explains it is a test and a testament to Abraham's loyalty to God and God explains the Ransom Sacrifice of the Messiah to come but Abraham and Isaac are confused about the whole situation
Skit 9) Lot is paranoid about the sadomasochistic homosexuals in Sodom and sets fire to the town and tells family they must flee from the "Wrath of God"
Skit 10) Abraham's servant is sent to find a wife for Isaac his master's son and finds a woman quick to marry for her family arranged for her to marry a man she despises
Skit 11) Jacob Isaac's son offers to work seven years for Laban to marry Rachel in front of a dismayed Leah but ends up marrying Leah instead and Laban has his lawyer explain the conditions of his contract
Skit 12) Joseph sold into slavery but the stress of Dinah and the other 11 sons and countless grandsons Jacob honestly didn't notice he was gone
Skit 13) Jacob's family is offered to live in Egypt and they think what's the worse that could happen only to find out the Egyptians planned to make them slaves the moment Joseph dies
Skit 14) Jehovah and Satan place a bet on Job, when the test is over and Job finds out God repays Job and to top it off He'll forbid gambling in the Hebrew Law
Skit 15) Pharaoh decides to kill every male born Israeli slave and the midwives and sorcerer's point out that this will kill off their slaves in a generation but Pharaoh doesn't understand how
Skit 16) Pharaoh's daughter finds Moses and asks who threw their baby slave away in the Nile
Skit 17) Moses encounters burning bush wonders if it is a hemp plant of some sort because he seems stoned thinking he hears voices sees hallucinations
Skit 18) Seven Plagues delivered then Jehovah resorts to three back up plagues
not expecting Pharaoh to be this stubborn
Skit 19) Israelites in the wilderness miss the pagan festivals and sex orgies they were permitted to be a part of in Egypt not so much the food or water
Skit 20) Moses saves Israel from the copper snakes by performing a miracle and the Israelites curse the not quite so scientific methods of Egypt they were using but Moses explains that scientific methodology an medication were important but Israel prefered the miracles
Skit 21) Joshua and Caleb spy on Canaan and our helped by an over hospitable harlot named Rahab, very Castle Anthrax of the Holy Grail like with Joshua dragging Caleb away
Skit 22) Israelites march around Jericho blaring hard rock tunes on horns and trumpets and tambourines and cowbells until the walls fall down
Skit 23) Ruth bitterly complains as Naomi takes care of her in an Israeli old folks home
Skit 24) Samson's enemies come up in his sleep to cut his hair and one enemy asks the second why don't we kill him in his sleep
Skit 25) Eli covers up priest scandals out of nepotism denying any wrongdoing stating it's all extortion and exaggeration
Skit 26) David hits Goliath's Achilles heel by hitting a pebble directly at his nasal bridge
Skit 27) David comes to kill Nabal who he slaved after for protection and provisions but Nabal breaks the treaty then David tries to kill Nabal then Nabal offers his wife only to die later anyway
Skit 28) Solomon wisest king of Israel wants to do a maternity test but the two women's lawyers argue that this science is not conclusive so the attorneys settle on splitting the baby in half
Skit 29) Jezebel tempts the men sent to kill her and saves herself by putting out only to get herself killed by offering a commitment
Skit 30) Elijah resurrects a widow's dead son in private only to freak her out asking what Elijah was doing with the little boy
Skit 31) Naaman gets cured in a straight forward account of Elisha saving him and an acknowledgment to the little unnamed girl who told Naaman of Elisha
Skit 32) Jonah (in a Shaggy persona) runs from God only to be found in a whale as he blames his poor sense of direction
Skit 33) Jeremiah's gives prophesy while Judah laughs at him while at the very moment of their laughing the Babylonians find and capture them
Skit 34) Daniel tells Belshazzar what the writing on the wall means but Belshazzar is distracted by the Medes and Persians attacking the party guests
Skit 35) Straightforward bit about Esther saving the Jews from genocide once and for all