New Novella (Arnold & Emily)

Looking at an old USB I found a story I was working on a couple years ago so I will be working on it to finish it up and publish it on my blog. The chapters are named after Syd Barrettt/Pink Floyd songs and it's about a 14 year old Aspie and the girl he likes.

My Youtube idea All Sheldons Have Asperger Syndrome

I plan on recording audio to the All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome by Kathy Hoopman and adding a scene from The Big Bang Theory featuring Sheldon acting in accordance with each page of the book. Taking 67 pages into 67 scenes will be hard since only the first season is on DVD and I don't have a video burner to take clips and edit in audio but in September the second season comes out and I already have about half the scenes picked out.

22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome Rebuttal

This book is a very derogatory and offensive piece of literature of aspie-intolerance and I took extreme offense to it especially considering the female author Rudy Simone is an aspie and therefore I think she may have used Asperger's Syndrome as an excuse to be sexist. It is a horrible misrepresentation of some of the most decent people I know so I'm taking the chapter titles and rebutting every accusing title

1. There will be loneliness. (aspies have trouble showing affection in ways that does not appear as smothering or obsessive so sometimes they have to learn to be indifferent or else they get accused of stalking)

2. There will probably be no public displays of affection. (socially appropriate interaction is hard to understand for aspies considering how many double standards there are regarding what kind of associate can do or say what things in front of another associate and they fear being called brash or presumptuous)

3. Labels and romantic expectations make him feel nervous. (EVERYTHING makes aspies feel nervous don't imply we wouldn't be intimate because of it)

4. He will take you and the relationship for granted. (pure bs if I ever read any. Asperger men treasure every relationship regardless whether sex is implicit in the relationship or not which I assume she's implying. I personally treasure the female friends who are platonic and miss the ones I've lost contact with because of the mutual support)

5. He may have a more patient approach to sex than you do. (this should not imply aspies don't have a sex drive we certainly DO we are just not forceful)

6. Communication will always be a challenge. (There are lone periods of being spaced out and conveying emotions in words with proper connotations may be hard but aspies are very expressive in my experience)

7. There will be shock. (Shock will come whether or not you personally invest yourself in a relationship with an aspie just knowing them casually you will be shocked anyway there's no skeletons in the closet)

8. Your man may not be there for you in a crisis. (I have been there for people I don't even like in the slightest but help because of my respect for principle rights of every human and I defend people I hardly know from slander and stick up for them)

9. Many AS males can be cranky, have bad tempers and can explode at the slightest of things. (Temper tantrums and irritations should not imply childish selfishness or bursts of anger in the aspie context it is usually an OCD drive for order to protect from chaos or a principle of moral or philosophic issue one should not back down from)

10. Your man may have a hard time completing a college degree, holding on to a job or seeing things through. (jobs and degrees may have come hard to me but I always see the important things through by planning them out ahead and focusing on a strategy)

11. He may get depressed and/or completely inert for long periods of time. (emotional support from a loved one would help all relationships are a two way street)

12. There will be times he embarrasses you. (all people are embarrassing aspies at least have an excuse other than he's drunk, stoned, or raised by ignorant racist parents)

13. Your family and friends may think you're being a doormat and a fool. (I don't even understand this wild misconception most people think I'm the dormat they even tell that I'm being manipulated)

14. People will tell you he's just being a man. (Except regarding sexual appetites I have never in the slightest way been regarded as just being a man)

15. You must have a good social support network, so you can go out and have fun once in a while. (everyone needs a good social support group outside of the the monogamous sexual relationship so they can relate feelings regarding issues from their perspective in sexual relationships)

16. Your AS male will not care about the things you do without him and there will be things he does not share with you. (he does and tries to put an interest in them but he can not fake an interest but he will still be a part of it in support of you, aspies have empathy toward people just not toward things they just don't get)

17. Time holds a different meaning for him than it does for you. (I don't know what she's implying by that)

18. He will probably want to sleep on the couch starting very early in the relationship and continuing throughout. (I'm a restless sleeper but I am a cuddler except when restlessness or overheating make me feel awkward)

19. You will never change him, even if you can succeed in getting him to change his behaviour. (no one can change anyone it is called the will of self)

20. Even if he loves you and values your relationship, it is possible you may never get a commitment. (aspies like things that last forever change bothers them once you are part of his world he will try to keep you at all costs)

21. Many AS/NT relationships go through various metamorphoses. (this happens in all relationships and is a good thing since different points in life require a different kind of commitment)

22. Your relationship will stand a much better chance if your man will REACH.
(Effort in important always in every sort of relationship for each partner don't imply it is a hardship peculiar to apies)

Poetry Post 201

Aspie Pride
You call it a syndrome but I'm not so sure
So pardon me if I don't want to find a cure
I don't know what society could use it for
If it's a disease I say infect some more
I don't know how those without it endure
Without it everything would seem like a bore
Would I even have a curiosity to explore
Would I still find pleasure in what I adore
All these benefits you seem to ignore
Am I myself any longer when you alter my core

Naturally Selected Suspect
Cops at a crime scene fire their guns
And chase the first person that runs
And say if you're not guilty why did you run
Forgetting who's the one with the gun

Mortal Words
Spoken works get lost in space
Written words will be erased

Man's Best Friends -Scene IV

(Back at Brian's apartment with Thomas licking his left side three times and then his right side three times and rotate as Brain and Mike walk in)
Mike (dog): Why don't you stick to one side till it's done?
Thomas (cat): It won't even out then.
Brian (man): (adoringly reaching down for Thomas) It won't matter because in a few moments I'm gonna pet and rub every hair out of place, baby.
Thomas: (running away) Bull crap I've been working on my grooming for the past three hours and I can't have it ruined?
Brian: Why not?
Thomas: Because that would make my day a waste.
Mike: You spent all day licking yourself it's already a waste.
Thomas: And spending the day squatting over a fire hydrant is time well spent?
Mike: At least I don't have to go in the same dirty sand box day in and day out.
Thomas: At least I don't have to leave the house to relieve myself.
David (hamster): At least you don't have to live in the box you defecate in. Can someone clean this cage?
Brian: I will (puts David in a second cage from under his desk, takes the old cage, washes it in the sink and puts it in the dish washer) There it's already in the dish washer.
Thomas: Remind me to never use the silverware.
Mike: Before or after you lick your own butt.
Thomas: Shut up, Brian and me are having a conversation. (to Brian) So how did the chick cruising go? Got any hot babes' phone numbers? Or did Cujo drive them all away with his mug face?
Mike: (defensively) Hey Cujo was a Saint Bernard, I'm a Miniature Schnauzer.
Thomas: Was the difference one dog is the same as another, why do you get to dissect yourself into smaller groups for your own protection?
Mike: What do you mean for your own protection?
Thomas: Well Cujo was a Saint Bernard so Miniature Schnauzers are off the hook from any negative stereotypes in regards to Cujo. But if a cat does something one cat is just the same as another.
Brian: You mean like with white and blacks, how one black man is seen as the same as another black person, but white are divided into a million nationalities, cultures and creeds.
Mike: (defensively) Well that's not true with cats though. Black cats are suppose to be scary, white cats classy and orange ones lazy
Thomas: What about alley cats?
Mike: Unbefriendable, aloof, untrustable, self-serving, garbage eating hobos.
Brian: (brainstorming) That's it that's why dogs are better wingmen than cats.
Mike: I know because cats are untrustable garbage eating hobos but what does wingmen have to do with this conversation?
Thomas: The magazine article he's been trying to write all day numbskull. He's talking about why it's easier for men with dogs to talk to people than men with cats.
Brian: Yeah if you have a cat it can only mean one of few handful of things regardless of the breed of the cat, but if you see a man with a pitbull or a man with a Chihuahua you can immediately tell the difference between them.
Mike: Yeah one has a chain on his wallet and the other rhinestones on their handbag.
David: You never see hamsters as wingmen. You don't even see as pets anymore. We're just some nine year olds toys that the cats eat.
Brian: Earlier you said eight year olds
David: What's the difference? No one listens to me anyway.
Mike: Say something new and we might.
Brian: Look I'm going to work on my report on my bedroom laptop, so Mike make sure Tommy doesn't eat David, David make sure Mike doesn't beat up Thomas and Thomas make sure David doesn't run away. If one of you fails this mission I'll donate you all to underprivileged inner city kids from an under funded orphanage.
Thomas: But they have bad food
David: Poor supervision
Mike: And no chew toys
Brian: Exactly

Man's Best Friends -Scene III

(Brian at the park walking with Mike at a private area while Mike looks for a spot to urinate)
Brian (man): Now remember, we're in public so don't say anything I might respond to because if I say something out of the blue people will think I'm crazy.
Mike (dog): Obviously Doctor Doolittle. Don't worry if for nothing else I'm not going to ruin my meal ticket.
Brian: Good to know your priorities are straight
Mike: Don't bite the hand that feeds you
Brian: You did last night?
Mike: Well don't disturb me when I'm with Missy.
Brian: The Yorkshire Terrier?
Mike: No, the Scottish Terrier
Brian: How come dogs can have multiple sexual partners without the females getting mad?
Mike: Because it's for reproduction not pleasure
Brian: You seem to enjoy it a lot?
Mike: Hey as long as the females think that we get a good thing going and I'm not going to mess it up.
(Brian spots Elizabeth the librarian across the field reading Cyrano De Bergerac on a park bench)
Brian: (worried) Mike did you forget this is the time and day Elizabeth the librarian reads in the park?
Mike: (fake casual) It is? Damn my ADD. By the way can you see what she's reading?
Brian: It looks like Cyrano De Bergerac.
Mike: That's what I thought; I saw her walk out of the book store on my walk the other day. You are so in.
Brian: How?
Mike: First I know you recommended that book to her, you've told me about every hour since you did it last week and second if she likes the main character you are so freakin' in.
Brian: What if she hates the book, what if she thinks it is some fluff of over idealized love and passion by some emotional lonely freak?
Mike: Think about it, has any woman said that about any romantic play in history?
Brian: No
Mike: So don't worry.
(Mike leads Brian out casually to the bench where Elizabeth is sitting)
Brian: (casual and nervous) Oh hi Elizabeth it's wonderful to see you today out here in the park, so what are you reading?
Elizabeth: (chuckles and smiles) Are you always this nervous or just around me?
Brian: (gasps) I'm not nervous, well I am but don't take it personally I'm like this with everyone actually, it's nothing in particular.
Elizabeth: (comfortingly and casual) Well don't worry (she gets up and reaches out to hold Brian's shoulder as Brian gets noticeable awkward) social situations get better with experience and before you know it you can have perfectly normal human interactions and then even a comfortable relationship. (she leaves)
Brian: Another day another conversation (frustrated) another pity comfort compliment. God. This is frustrating; do you think she's on to my crush?
Mike: It's sort of obvious and then again sort of not, if she sees you act nervously around others what you did would seem perfectly natural. She kind of shot you down earlier than I thought she would.
Brian: (sarcastically) Thanks for the verification.

Famous People with Asperger's Syndrome comedians

There are a lot of famous Asperger's lists on the internet but I wanted to pick some of my favorite Asperger candidates who I related to, the thought of famous Jehovah's Witnesses list came to mind but most were only Witnesses for a short period of their childhood with the exceptions of Mickey Spillaine and Prince
this list is the humorists (Recent Additions/Updates)

Famous Comedians
Andy Kaufman- Latka from Taxi, subject of Man On The Moon, and a very underrated tv special with Foreign Man, Elvis Impersonation, Mighty Mouse, Tony Clifton
Michael Palin- Monty Python member who created The Lumberjack Song, The Spanish Inquisition, Every Sperm Is Sacred, Spam, Finland, Decomposing Composers mostly with Terry Jones who also together did the historical research for their films
Dan Aykroyd- Saturday Night Live alumni who did Beldar Conehead, Elwood Blues, George Frestrunk, and the movie Ghostbusters
Jim Henson- Creator of The Muppets, most lovably Kermit, Gonzo, Fuzzy Bear and Miss Piggy
Charles Schulz- Peanuts creator lovably Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Linus and Lucy
Garrison Keillor- Radio host and writer Lake Wobegon Days and Prairie Home Companion
Woody Allen- Film director, stand up comedian from Bananas, Sleeper, Annie Hall, Manhattan etc
Peter Tork- Famous multi-instrumentalist of The Monkees (piano, guitar, bass, banjo, organ) but due to lack of musical input most of his contributions noted are his comic portrayal of the Peter Tork character in The Monkees tv show
Mark Twain, Samuel Beckett, George Bernard Shaw- all famous writers known to use some humor in their writings and have key Asperger traits

Fifth Volume of Poetry

Asperger's Syndrome And Autism
Mind's turned on and tuned out
A mystery no one will find out
Fascinated and focused on a distraction
No one can interpret or foretell my reaction
Sometimes seems gifted sometimes dumb
All emotional bridges somewhat numb
Family bonds are the only ones that reach me
Stuck in an alternate reality

Complaints Left And Right
Don't tell me the Bible builds battles
When rock fans march together like tag marked cattle
Don't whine about the prison's injection room
When you evict dead babies from your womb
Don't say you are lower middle class
When you are kissing corporate ass

Don't preach to us your moral lessons
When you lead the hungry masses into oppression
Don't speak of communal loyalty to your corporation
When lay offs and pollution reek across your nation
Don't complain of liberals controlling the media
When you are rewriting encyclopedias

Scriptures
I read John 2:16
The evangelist doesn't seem to know what it means
I read Isaiah 2:4
Just as the general with Bible and gun ran to war
I spoke of the 6th Commandment
As the troops were sent
I read Genesis 2:24
Just as a spouse walked out the door
I read Psalms 139:13-16
As I saw the clinic with an unwed teen
I read Isaiah 11:6-9
And suddenly I felt fine

Man's Best Friends: An Animated Sitcom

Man's Best Friend is about a man named Brian Becque who works as a freelance writer who is diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which also in the case of the show means he can communicate with the animals that live with him in his apartment (which allows the pets). Brian in fact gets most of his social and professional advice from his pets despite each pet being a little neurotic. There is Mike the dog with attention deficient disorder, the cat Thomas with obsessive compulsive disorder and a hamster David who is paranoid depressed who all try to help him woo the local librarian Elizabeth. Also I will release the tv pilot scene by scene in later blogs

Why I'm blogging

I feel it is imperative for me to tell you, the reader, who I am so as to understand why I blog. This idea to start a blog I must point out came from a vocational counselor who thought it might be a good way to see if my writing can take off as I am an experienced but not as yet a professional writer, and I hesitated due to the notions as to whether anything good could come from posting on the web with all the obvious warnings and also my paranoia about being misrepresented or plagiarized but then I felt trapped by the coldness of winter striking me sick and shutting out all communication with the outside world with my poor health and poor social life. But enough beating around the bush. The essential facts about me are
1) I was raised and continue to be a Jehovah's Witness and proud of it to the extent that I could be called a good example with a relative degree of truth and that is something to be proud of.
2) I have Asperger's Syndrome so not only in religious sense but also in a psychological sense I see things differently from a majority of people.
To understand these first two principle elements of who I am I would like to state what these labels mean to me and not as defined by someone else.
Being a Jehovah's Witness means
a) believing in God the Almighty as a personal entity meaning, He is real in a practical sense that one can befriend him (kind of a paradox to my Asperger's Syndrome that I will describe later)
b) belief in both the Hebrew and Greek Bible [Old and New Testaments] but not a belief in an immortal human soul as Genesis 3 brings out "dust to dust" and no belief in Trinitarian views as God and Christ are as separate as Abraham and Isaac
c) we believe in a very real but yet to Earthly come Kingdom of God as described in Isaiah, Daniel, Revelation and other books of prophesy. So any allegiance to another Kingdom would be like a treason in a way. But as Jesus said God's things to God (our lives as living sacrifices) and Caesar's things to Caesar (our taxes) and not to get it mixed up like people like to do.
In this I mentioned three very good reasons I choose to remain as I was raised a Witness to a truly All Loving God Jehovah
i) there is no hellfire for people who as we are natural born sinners, it's like paying for some broken merchandise before you even get to the store. What we do have is the belief and the faith that all who appreciated and respected life as God saw fit we can be resurrected (reborn, reanimated, reconstructed) to a perfect world fitting to our perfected spiritual bodies
ii) we do not believe in any justification to war or hatred as the Judaic principle of war was to protect the holy nation of God to ensure the birth of Christ through Abraham's descendent's and through that we are all saved thus for everyone's greater good and that being already accomplished abolished the need for war.
iii) The belief of God but not in a Trinitarian form which just personally to me seems to contradict logic as Jesus died for our sins but God Jehovah is the Creator of the Universe and couldn't likely be killed in any form of logic.

Being diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome to me means
1) that I have a Vulcan like interest in the logical and the rational although I do have a poetic and very emotional side
2) I have few social skills and lack the common means of showing affection and thus do not show emotional bonds or form them in conventional ways so the idea of an aloof God makes sense to me but Witnesses tend to view Jehovah as a friend and perhaps He is to me too but it's concept I don't understand too well.
3) I have the plus side of being very principled and also the down side of which being very dogmatic in things people lightly refer to as theories or opinions

The other factors are all inferior characteristics in depth but not any less prevalent in my persona.
1) I am a writer who has written over 800 poems since I was 14 years old and also wrote two tv test pilots and outlined scripts for about ten movies maybe three or four of which I will eventually focus on when or if I get a writing partner.
2) I am a huge Beatles fan but also of their solo careers particularly John Lennon, one of my great non-Biblical heroes. My fascination with them becomes unbearable to others
3) I am a huge Monty Python fan and no I don't find any of their work offensive just insightful and anyone who is offended by them on account of your religion should remember tolerance and long suffering are Christ like and (Brian like) qualities (more so Christ but Brian and Buddha had some good points too)
4) Minor facts about my childhood; I had an irrational fear of wind and storms, I grew up and still live in Warren County Ohio and also my fascination with the Beatles and Monty Python has some origin in that I was a Monkees freak as a kid.

So my reason for blogging is basically to let the overflow of thoughts and ideas and theories I have take root somewhere in case my views can be of some benefit by either enlightening other if possible [hopefully] or reaffirm an already existing belief in someone's heart so they don't feel so alone