Man's Best Friends Animated Sitcom Scene II

(Brian sitting blankly at a computer next to the hamster cage)
Brian (human): I still can't remember what I was going to write about? (momentary pause) oh yeah why do dogs make better wingmen than cats?
David (hamster): Yeah how come hamsters never make good wingmen? No one ever tries using us to pick up chicks. We're always adopted by neglectful absent minded eight year olds left to be eaten by their sister's cats.
Thomas (cat): (walking by) Well that's your guys' fault for being so delicious. (David looks in fear)
Brian: (reassuring) Don't worry David I won't let Thomas eat you.
David: No you will, you always loved that stupid old fat cat more than me, I mean he's the threat so he should be locked up in this cage.
Brian: He can't fit in there you know that.
David: Oh so the prison isn't up to the criminal's standards
Brian: He's not a criminal. Thomas hasn't done anything wrong.
David: Not yet
Brian: I'm going to get a drink (gets up and goes to kitchen)
Thomas: (jumps up to the desk next to the cage) Look, David I have a good thing going here, don't get me in trouble.
David: (scared) Why? What are you doing to do? Eat me? Bite my head off? Come on tell me and get it over with.
Thomas: Gawd dang you're a nervous little bugger (jumps down as Brian enters with a peanut butter sandwich, a coke and a scrap of fish for Thomas he tosses on the ground)
David: I can never trust a meat eater.
Thomas: Brian eats meat, just not around you. (Brian looks back at Thomas in shock while David is petrified)
David: (anxious) Is this true? Why have you deceived me? Are you planning on eating me? I should have known. You're always watching that creepy Twilight Zone episode.
Brian: David humans are carnivorous by nature, but we don't eat hamsters.
David: What do you eat?
Brian: Cows, chicken, pigs, fish in some lands they eat cats and dogs. (Thomas looking unfazed licking himself clean)
Thomas: So what? Like you'd eat me. (continuing licking self)
David: Did you say humans eat cows, chickens and pigs?
Brian: Yeah?
David: Aren't those rather large animals?
Brian: So?
David: I seldom see you eat more than one peanut butter sandwich at a time how can humans eat an entire cow, pig or even chicken?
Brian: Well more than one human eats each cow and pig, which is good because pigs and cows then don't have to die for each person.
Thomas: Unless humans eat alone.
David: What about the chicken?
Thomas: Humans only eat the breasts, legs, thighs and wings and throw the rest away.
David: Freudian freaks. (sarcastically) Now that I'm done with the fun parts let's throw the rest away. (animals laugh)
Brian: Shut up you rodent diners and pellet muncher.
Thomas: Carcass dumper
Mike (dog) : (comes in main room) Hey Brian, could you please take me for a walk?
Brian: (anxious) I'd be thrilled to. (gets up and goes out with Mike)