Man's Best Friends- Scene XI

(at Brian's apartment by the computer with David in his cage sleeping with Brian typing)
Brian (man): Hey (looking up at David) Why don't you exercise? It will help with your depression.
David (hamster): Not with my heart problems.
Brian: What heart problems?
David: Paranoia destroys your heart, the anxiety does hell to your arteries and valves.
Brian: Who says?
David: The Internet Doctor says
Brian: You get on the Internet?
David: Yes
Brian: You know my password?
David: Brian26
Brian: Yes well that explains why there are all those rodent webpages on my Internet history. I was getting worried about that. (Mike walks in)
Mike (dog): Now I remember where I heard the name Bettie before, wasn't that the name of that crazy rabbit you once owned? You know the one with anger management problems.
David: I don't remember him.
Mike: It was before you were here. As a matter of fact I think there's some reason why I'm (embarrassed) not suppose to bring him up in front of you.
David: I'm a replacement for some stupid rapid rabbit?
Mike: Oh no that's not why we're not suppose to mention it, you were the replacement to Terry the fish who replaced the rabbit anyway, it's because Brian asked Tommy to kill it.
David: (squeaking in horror) You let Tommy kill a pet! You kept this a secret! How long before you gonna let him eat me?
Mike: Hopefully not long if you keep squeaking like that.
Brian: I had Tommy kill Bettie because he was attacking all the people and animals that came into the apartment.
David: It was a rabbit how violent could it be?
Brian: It was a vicious rabbit, you should have seen the scars he left on the Jehovah's Witnesses that came around here, you can't most of them won't come back and the neighbors decided to give my rabbit a medal then he attacked the neighbors and they moved.
Mike: That poor nine year old Laotian girl had to get a skin transplant now she's part African-American
Thomas (cat): (walking in) Don't you mean part black, she didn't change her heritage. (phone rings Brian gets up to answer it)
Brian: Hello...Oh hi Elizabeth how are you?...Well that's great...Sure I'll come over...alone... sure...okay goodbye. (hangs up) Okay Mike watch out for David and make sure he doesn't get killed or commit suicide (leaves apartment and re-enters) I forgot my shoes (takes shoes and leaves)