No Offense Taken "The Meaning of Life"

(professor talking to camera in a library background)
Professor Gumby: Hello I'm Prof. Gumby philosophy professor from Oxford University and I am here to discuss something we at Oxford University have been studying since the foundation of our university in the thirteenth century. It is a subject of philosophy much debated and discussed throughout the history of civilized man. It is the fundamental question of our own existence. It is something that has eluded scientists, theologians and other great guess workers for hundreds of years, until now. What is the meaning of life? Here at Oxford University we have finally found the definitive answer. It was found in a place we almost never looked. And yet it was so obvious. Millions of people in mankind's long history could have found it in their personal library of books, but most have not since it is while being one the most popular books also one of the longest. So despite the millions of people owning the book very few ever read it, at least not with any real focus but here it is (holding a book on a pulpit) the meaning of life on page 672 "the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body" as quoted in the Holy Dictionary. It was rather anti-climatic for us too